Book Showcase: MICKEY CHAMBERS SHAKES IT UP by Charish Reid

MICKEY CHAMBERS SHAKES IT UP by Charish Reid book cover: illustrated cover showing a plus-size Black woman in a martini glass and a Latino man standing in front of the glass with a towel over his shoulderMickey Chambers Shakes It Up by Charish Reid
ISBN: 9781335453556 (Paperback)
ISBN: 9780369734785 (eBook)
ISBN: 9781488227790 (Audiobook)
ASIN: B0BSVP6N36 (Audible audiobook)
ASIN: B0BJ78MGJF (Kindle edition)
Page Count: 320
Release Date: June 6, 2023
Publisher: Canary Street Press
Genre: Fiction | Romance | Own Voices

For readers of Talia Hibbert, a witty, contemporary love story with high emotional stakes and a multicultural cast, about a widowed bar owner who, upon returning to college at 42, inadvertently hires the woman who turns out to be the adjunct instructor of his online writing class to help tend bar at his failing establishment; for fans who love grumpy vs. sunshine.

Total opposites. Totally irresistible.

Mickey Chambers is an expert at analyzing modern literature. But when it comes to figuring out her own story, she’s feeling a little lost. At thirty-three, she’s an adjunct instructor with a meager summer class schedule and too many medical bills, courtesy of her chronic illness. Picking up a bartending gig seems perfect. Sure, Mickey’s never done this before, but the gorgeous, grumpy bar owner, Diego Acosta, might be the perfect man to teach the teacher…if he wasn’t so stressed.

Diego is worried he’s running his late wife’s bar into the ground. Add the pressures of returning to college part-time at forty-two, and it’s no wonder he’s making rash decisions. Like hiring the sunny, sexy woman who looks more at home in a library than slinging beers to rowdy barflies, and who turns out to be teaching his online writing course, a complication neither was expecting…

It’s not long before Mickey starts reenergizing The Saloon with cocktails, karaoke and an optimism even Diego can’t ignore. They need to fight their feelings if they want to keep things professional, but all it takes is one sip, one kiss, to shake both their worlds forever…

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Book Excerpt:

Plink, plink, plink…

Mickey Chambers’ heart stuttered as she held her breath. Each prescription pill she dropped into different days of the week was an ominous warning of finite resources. When she got to Saturday and found a nearly empty bottle of her thyroid medication, she had to do quick math in her head. To refill her prescriptions, she’d have to visit Dr. Curtis and get bloodwork done.

Another expense…

She’d been counting pills for most of her adult life. But at thirty-three, it was getting hard to pay for them. At her kitchen counter, Mickey carefully spilled the remainder of her medication on to a place mat and slowly separated them. Two weeks.

She quickly started on the mood stabilizer next, counting with the same slowness, and making note of how few were left in the bottle. Three weeks. Any gaps in medication could be bad news for her hormone levels, knocking her flat on her ass.

This was going to be a hellish summer if Mickey couldn’t fund the medication for her hyperthyroidism. Her teaching load had always been somewhat precarious, but this was the first time she worried. Hargrove University’s English Department had always made room for her, but they had also hired more adjuncts like her. Other part-time instructors who needed to grab up as many classes to cover their bills.

She gathered her medications and placed them back on the top of her refrigerator before checking her cell phone again. She was expecting a call from the department chair today with confirmation of her summer schedule. So far, Mickey only had one online class.

Because she’d taught a few distance-learning courses before, Mickey had a slew of class plans ready to be taught online. She’d need to update a few PowerPoint presentations from last year, but she counted on her Food Studies and Culture course to be easy to navigate. Now, if Lara could just give her a heads-up on a Comp 101 or an American Lit, she’d have extra syllabi for those as well.

But alas, no missed calls.

Mickey sighed as she tucked her phone in her skirt pocket. No point in waiting around her apartment when she needed to be at her parents’ home for Sunday dinner. This was the first dinner she’d shown up to since a hectic finals week and logging grades, so she missed them. She grabbed her purse and locked up before running into the Columbus, Georgia, heat. Even in late May, she felt the blast of the outdoor furnace that frizzed her curls and made her under-boobs sweat. She blew out another frustrated sigh. The heat was an annoyance for any average Georgian, but for someone with her condition, these summers were hell.

When she got on Forest Street, she tapped out a quick message to her mother, letting Rita Chambers know she was on the way. Mickey made a quick loop around Lakebottom Park, admiring the people who could stand jogging in the bright sun and catching a glimpse of her favorite brick-red bungalow on the corner of Cherokee Avenue.

She loved how it stood out from the surrounding houses with its delicate white trim and shutters and large wraparound porch. A couple years back, two rocking chairs used to sit near the door, now only one remained. The owner also seemed to neglect the spread of kudzu vine clawing its way up the west side of the house. Mickey noticed the changes and it made her sad.

Her mind quickly went back to the road toward her parents’ home. Through the shaded boulevard of dogwood trees, Hargrove students were already walking to the downtown area, ready to tear it up. She drove past them carefully, trying her best not to hit the pregame wobblers.

When she reached her parents’ house, she parked her car in the driveway behind her brother’s Beemer and walked past the pecan saplings piled up in the yard. Mickey’s father must have been amid a landscaping project. Her mother would object to Virgil Sr. lifting more than necessary, but she’d let her parents argue about that.

She checked her phone once more and found no new messages.

Mickey closed her eyes, trained a smile on her face, and readied herself for dinner with her family. As she stepped through the threshold of her childhood home, she called out, “I’m here, let the festivities begin!”

Her little brother, Junior, was the first to reply. “Girl, ain’t nobody waiting on you.”

Mickey laughed as she hung her purse in the yellow foyer her father had painted earlier in the year. Judging by the smells coming from the kitchen, she wouldn’t have waited on her either. She found her family eating dinner in the bright and airy living room, using the collapsible TV trays while her mother’s lovely dining room remained untouched.

“Baby, fix a plate and join us.” Her mother pointed her fork toward the kitchen.

“Thanks, Mama.”

“Michelle, when’s the last time you had that car looked at?” her father asked apropos of nothing.

Mickey bit back her grin. “Last time I was here.”

Virgil Sr. shook his head as he scraped at his plate. “Lemme change that oil before you leave. How them tires lookin’?”

It didn’t matter how she answered, her father would just examine the entire Honda Civic before she left the house. Even after a week of working for Columbus Public Works, he still needed to come home and tinker around with something. “I’ll let you have a look,” Mickey said on her way to the kitchen.

If it was hot outside, Rita’s kitchen was an inferno. Her mother’s cast-iron skillet had put in the work that day, producing fried chicken, fried pork chops and corn bread. Side dishes covered the counter like a small buffet line, with a roll of aluminum foil and Styrofoam plates sitting on the end, serving as to-go plates for Mickey and Junior.

A bottle of Ardbeg scotch sat near the refrigerator with a yellow sticky note pressed to the glass. If there was one thing she could count on her brother for, it was a free bottle of booze. No doubt, an end-of-the-semester gift. She smiled as she picked it up and inspected the label. She and Junior tried to get together as often as possible to try different spirits and share their opinions, but lately they’d grown too busy. He with his start-up in Atlanta and her constantly grading papers. As expensive as it was, his little reminder of simpler times touched her.

While she fixed her plate, Mickey listened to her parents give a familiar rundown of the Columbus, Georgia, happenings for Junior, who now lived in Atlanta.

“You remember Celestine on the West Side,” Rita said. “Henry Richard’s sister.”

“Uhh…”

“Taught at the dance school back in the nineties. Volunteered at the soup kitchen?”

“Mama, I can’t remember,” Junior said.

“Well, she passed a couple weeks back,” their mother went on. “I went to the visitation and saw her granddaughter, Layla. I didn’t know it, but she took over the dance school recently. You remember Layla? Real pretty girl…”

“Maybe?”

“Henry still working at Wilson’s Paper?” their father interjected.

“Sure is,” Rita said. “Coming up on twenty years. Oughta be retiring soon.”

When Mickey returned to the living room, she sat next to her brother on the sibling-designated couch, facing her parents, who sat in their own cushy recliners. On the television, an action movie played with the volume set low.

“Anyway,” Rita said, “you oughta let me introduce you to Layla. She’s such a professional little lady teaching those kids and I heard she was single…”

Junior made a noncommittal noise before stuffing his mouth with fried pork chop.

Rita switched gears and turned her focus on her other child. “Michelle, my favorite teacher! Are you feeling good? Have you taken your medications?”

“This morning, Mama,” Mickey said, trying to keep her smile up. Every time her mother laid eyes on her, she asked the same questions.

“Do you have enough for the month?”

Mickey nodded, trying not to worry about the number of pills she counted out earlier. “I get my refills on time.”

“Is that Obamacare still working for you?” her father asked. “‘Cause Roy said he’s paying an arm and leg over these prescriptions.”

Mickey eked out a strained smile. “It’s fine, Daddy. The ACA plan I’m on is okay.”

“Are you teaching this summer?” Junior asked, steering the conversation away from Mickey’s health.

She gave him a grateful look. Since she was first diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, her parents had dropped everything in their lives to make sure she was well taken care of. Now, at the age of thirty-three, they hadn’t quite stopped. “I am,” she said, quickly changing gears. “I’m still at Hargrove, in the English Department.”

“They had a hell of a busted pipe by that athletic center,” her father said. “I told Roy, they gonna have to dig up some of that parking lot that goes to Seaver Avenue.”

Her mother ignored her husband, who routinely rambled about construction. “Are you going to be busy this summer? How many classes will you have? Will you have to be on your feet in the classroom, or can you teach from home?”

Mickey followed her brother’s example and shoveled mashed potatoes in her mouth to avoid her mother’s interrogation. She hoped it would give her time to figure out a good enough lie about her unstable unemployment. She nodded. “Mmm-hmm.”

Her parents understood that she taught at a university. They bragged on her to everyone they knew, from the cashier at Winn Dixie to Monique at the salon. What they didn’t quite grasp was what nontenured track looked like at a place like Hargrove University.

While associate professors could use their summers for scholarship and traveling to conferences, adjuncts scrambled to find all the classes they could to make ends meet. Mickey loved teaching and her students…but she had the sneaking suspicion that her love for the job was being used against her by the university machine. She wasn’t making nearly enough money for the work she kept doing—the grim evidence hit her every time she paid her bills.

She swallowed the lump of mashed potatoes. “I’ll be fine,” she lied. As soon as her phone vibrated in her pocket, Mickey would know for certain. “Sorry, I gotta take this.”

She quickly excused herself from the living room and took her call in the kitchen.

Her boss started off on the wrong foot immediately. “Hey, Michelle…” she said in a contrite voice.

Mickey’s heart dropped. “Hey, Lara.”

“I’m sorry,” Lara said. “I had hopes for English 200, but there weren’t enough students for the Registrar’s Office to sign off on it. And then I only had 101 left, and I know you just taught it…”

“No, no, I get it,” Mickey said. “Matt needs a class too.”

“I tried to split the leftover classes as fair as I could,” Lara said. Her boss sounded so close to tears that Mickey had no choice but to let her off the hook. The availability of classes wasn’t necessarily her fault. She couldn’t help the fact that the administration had tightened up on summer course offerings.

“So, I’ve got the Comp 102,” she said with an upbeat voice.

“You do! Luckily, it’s the condensed early summer version; just four weeks. And you’d really be doing us a favor.” Doing them a favor made Mickey sound heroic instead of an underpaid professional who didn’t receive health-care benefits.

“Of course, no worries. Listen, Lara, I gotta let you go,” Mickey said.

“I get it,” Lara said. “Michelle, I’m so sorry. You’ll be okay?”

Even though she didn’t feel like coddling Lara’s feelings, she still lied, “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay. We’ll talk later?”

“Of course,” Mickey said brightly.

By the time she hung up, her mind was already on the next problem. What did the money situation look like for the next two and a half months? A quick calculation of savings told her she could handle rent—that always came first. Then came medication. Her savings account would take a hit, but it could cover those necessary pills. She had a roof over her head, but food and utilities were a different story.

“Was that work?”

She jumped at the sound of Junior’s voice behind her. Mickey could lie to her boss and her parents, but her brother would always be a tough sell. He may be five years younger than she, but he’d had to grow up fast when she was at her sickest. “It was,” she sighed.

“Are you going to need help this summer?” he asked.

He didn’t mean any harm, but it stung to be so far behind her brother, who graduated school on time, who found a career at an appropriate time. Meanwhile, Mickey’s constant absences due to illness meant flunking out of high school. She didn’t catch up to her peers until a proper treatment plan was put in place. Getting her GED, earning a bachelor’s and finally a master’s degree, in literature, gained her employment…just not a steady career in her thirties. “Please don’t tell mom and dad,” she whispered, glancing toward the living room. “They still see me as a sick teenager: reminding me to take my meds, offering me money they don’t have.”

“You need to come work with me and James,” her brother suggested as he rubbed his beard. His dark brown eyes focused on the stove behind him and narrowed. She could tell his computer-programmer mind whirred with a plan. “If you lived in Atlanta, I could help you get set up with a little apartment nearby. We could finally start the whiskey podcast…”

“You know I’d love to do the podcast,” Mickey said with a chuckle. “But I don’t want to move to Atlanta and I don’t want to work for my little brother doing—what are you doing?”

Junior rolled his eyes. “Coding the MedPlus app. We’re still trying to find a decent marketing manager… You could be it?”

Mickey grabbed her brother by the hand and dragged him to the kitchen patio door. “Let’s talk about this outside,” she sighed, hoping her parents weren’t listening. In the backyard, she finally felt relief from the stifling heat of the house.

“How long are you going to keep working for that school?” Junior asked, facing the setting sun. The vibrant red shined on his deep brown skin as he squinted his dark eyes against the light. He took his coloring and height from their father, while Mickey’s pecan-brown skin and short, chubby stature mimicked their mother.

She didn’t know the answer to that. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll teach until I find something else I’m good at.” Sometimes she woke up in a cold sweat, wondering why she’d chosen literature and composition as areas to study. The job market was rough for even those who had doctorates. What had felt like a comfortable job was quickly becoming an albatross around her neck. Anytime she tried to think about another vocation, her heart pounded and her brain froze. “I know I’m really good at organizing and planning, but those skills feel too vague to become a…career.”

“Well, you’re good with people—always friendly and helpful. I wish I knew how you stay so damn cheerful,” he said with a chuckle. “A bunch of spoiled-ass freshmen in English class would drive me up a fuckin’ wall.”

“Oh, it’s not them,” Mickey sighed. “When I step foot in the classroom, they respect me, they listen. Hell, they don’t even realize I’m a part-time lecturer. My students think I’m a scholar like everyone else.”

She certainly didn’t feel that way when she left the classroom. Since she didn’t attend department meetings, many of the tenure-track professors barely knew her name.

“Can I be honest with you?”

Her brother nodded.

Mickey blew out a sigh. “Teaching was accidental. After the bachelor’s degree, I didn’t know what to do with literature studies, so I continued and got a master’s degree. The first job I got was teaching English and I just stuck with it. I like doing it, but without a doctorate degree, being an adjunct is a permanent internship. It’s an aspiration job that will never become a career for me.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s a hamster wheel masquerading as a noble pursuit.”

Quiet blanketed the back patio as Mickey fought to keep her shit together. That was the first time she’d spoken the truth to another person.

“Got it. So, you’re spinning your wheels at Hargrove.” Junior said in a serious voice.

Mickey kept her eyes on the horizon ahead of them. Anything to avoid her brother’s piercing stare. “I’ll need to make some real changes come fall.”

“For real though, if things don’t work out in Columbus, you can stay with me. I know MedPlus is still young, but James has a couple investors lined up. You’re a writer. I could get you in on the ground floor.”

Mickey nodded. “I hear you, and I’ll keep it in my back pocket.”

While Junior’s job offer was a lovely gesture, she was reluctant to accept it. Her family had done too much as it was to help her. Her parents had given up their time, getting the runaround from heath professionals. And then their money to send her to doctors and specialists. Junior even helped her with her college applications and her move to Athens for her master’s program. Living with her brother, while working for him, seemed like taking a step backward.

The patio door slid open. Their father stuck his head out and looked between the two of them. “It’s too hot out here for Michelle to be standing around,” he said with a frown. “Y’all come in here and get a cold drink.”

Mickey shot her brother a look that said, See?

Junior smirked as he shook his head. “Coming, Pop.” As she followed her brother back inside the house, she hoped that she could continue pretending things were fine. She adjusted her face, forcing the smile that people were accustomed to, and tried to forget about the ever-present money worries. Positive attitude, Mickey. She wouldn’t get anywhere feeling sorry for herself.

Excerpt from Mickey Chambers Shakes It Up by Charish Reid.
Copyright © 2023 by Charish Reid.
Published with permission from Harlequin Books S.A.
All rights reserved.

Meet the Author

Charish Reid author photo: young Black female wearing a white shirt with a large Afro-puff updoCharish Reid is a fan of sexy books and disaster films. When she’s not grading papers or prepping lessons for college freshmen, she enjoys writing romances that celebrate quirky Black women who deserve HEAs. Charish currently lives in Sweden.

Connect with the author: Facebook | Goodreads | Instagram | Twitter | Website

 

This book showcase and excerpt brought to you by Canary Street Press

 

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Book Showcase: IF I HAD A HAMMER by Teresa Trent

If I Had a Hammer

by Teresa Trent

May 1-26, 2023 Virtual Book Tour

Synopsis:

If I Had a Hammer by Teresa Trent

A new job, a brutal murder, and Camelot has ended.

In 1963, Dot Morgan’s life was changed forever. She witnessed the assassination of John F Kennedy through the lens of her boxy Kodak Instamatic camera, bringing traumatic aftereffects of the brutality that happened as they stood on the parade route in Dallas.

She starts her first real secretarial job with a boss who has no sympathy for her trauma. When Dot’s only work friend has a mysterious accident at a demolition site, she digs around on her own only to find very little love between two brothers and no one hammering out justice to find a murderer.

The suspects are all around Dot and as she tries to sift through their motives, her cousin Ellie is going through PTSD on her own, losing interest in work, and her fiancé all the while quoting some of JFK’s finest speeches.

With so much change in her world, can Dot still tell the difference between good and evil?

Book Details:

Genre: Historical Mystery
Published by: Level Best Books
Publication Date: March 2023
Number of Pages: 230
ISBN: 9781685123017 (Paperback)
ASIN: B0BWPJFY5T (Kindle edition)
Series: The Swinging Sixties Mystery Series, Book 2 | Each is a stand-alone

Purchase Links #CommissionEarned: Bookshop.org | Amazon | Amazon Kindle | Goodreads

Read an excerpt:

Ellie screamed, making the driver jump. “Right here! Stop here,” Ellie said as she passed bills from the back seat to the front.

I looked up over a light brown building with straight white letters reading Texas School Book Depository. Above it was an ad for Hertz Rent-a-Car with a clock attached to it. It was straight up noon. The crowd was thickening as people found places to stand in a grassy area next to the street. It was almost as if the original landscaper had known this historic day would take place and designed the gradual slope along the road. According to the newspaper, Kennedy’s motorcade would arrive soon, and I felt the excitement building as we prepared to join the crowd. I pulled my arms through my sweater.

Ellie extended a hand to help me out of the yellow Checker cab. “Are you ready?”

“Oh yes. Let’s go over there.” I pointed to one of the few open spots next to the curb. “Hurry, before someone else gets it. I just hope we can hold the spot. There are some pretty big guys who might want to stand in front of us.”

Ellie smirked. “You know what I always say. ‘Knee them in the crotch and they sing a new song.'”

“Seriously, Ellie. I’m not attacking some poor man just so I can stand in front.”

“You’re right. I was trying to sound sophisticated Maybe not here but remember that. It may come in handy someday.”

I had decided to wear a new pair of black heels and felt them wobbling. We crossed the street and grabbed our spot just in time, causing another viewer to crowd in next to us. The smell of cigarette smoke circled us as people fiddled with cameras and readjusted black-rimmed glasses.

“Jack Kennedy is so handsome.” Ellie placed her hand over her heart, popping it on her chest like a heartbeat. “Too bad he’s already taken.”

“Stop.” I laughed. “I believe you’re already taken as well. Didn’t I hear something about you and Al getting married next June?”

Ellie gave a sweet smile as her eyes drifted upward. “I can’t believe that either. June. That’s just a little more than six months away.”

“Well, you deserve the happiness coming your way.” I patted my cousin’s shoulder. Ellie was in her thirties, practically spinsterhood in 1963. Finding Al, the electrician, had been the best thing for her. Love and marriage. It filled me with warmth. We were all living the American dream just like the characters in our favorite movies at the Rialto theater. The lyrics of “Young at Heart” drifted through my mind.

I sang a few lines from the song.

Ellie linked her arm with mine as she watched the street. A few cars drove by, but none that looked like a presidential motorcade. The breeze drifted across my exposed knees. A longer skirt would have shielded my knees, but I would endure the shivers for the sake of fashion.

“Ellie, did you see that picture of Jackie in the paper? She’s gorgeous. I saw her tour of the White House on TV. She’s so classy and looks beautiful in everything she wears.”

“Except she talks funny,” Ellie said, her Texas drawl turning “talks” into “tawks.”

“That’s because she’s from the East. She can’t help it. I’ll bet she thinks Texans talk funny. I’m sure they hear a lot of Texas twang coming from LBJ and Ladybird.”

“But that’s just music to anyone’s ears,” Ellie said. “Be serious.”

I glanced up and down the parade route. “Ben said he was going to be here. Maybe he’s farther down the street.” I pulled out my new Kodak Instamatic and hooked the leather strap around my neck. I raised the camera up to my eyes. “I hope I can get a clear picture of Jackie and John.”

“Listen to you. You talk like you know them,” Ellie laughed. “Jackie and John.”

“Well, in a way, I feel like I do. They’re America’s perfect family. I love them all. Jackie, John, Caroline, John-John.”

Ellie sighed and then drew in an excited breath with her hands clenched in front of her. “This is so exciting.” People continued to crowd up to the curb. A tall man in a brown plaid sport coat, holding binoculars up to his black boxy glasses, elbowed me to move over. I could feel tension in the air that comes when people anticipate witnessing something spectacular.

Just then, a line of shiny black cars came into view, ambling down the street in our direction. The breeze turned into a slight wind. I leaned forward and squinted, trying to identify who was in each vehicle. I felt my heart race as I recognized John and Jackie Kennedy sitting in the back seat as the car was surrounded by men on motorcycles. She was stunning in a pink wool suit and matching hat. I felt special knowing Jackie and I had worn the same color on this memorable day. She, of course, looked so much better. John had a healthy tan and a wide smile on his face.

I raised my camera and willed the man in the brown plaid coat not to step in front of me. This was a moment I was sure we would always remember. I hoped I could wind the film cartridge fast enough to take several pictures. Maybe they would want to use them in the Camden Courier? I wanted a good one of John, and another of Jackie. Just like real people, I thought but really, they looked like royalty, sitting in the open top limousine with policemen on motorcycles riding silently alongside—sort of a mobile palace guard. When the hood of the limousine was directly in front of me, I brought the Instamatic up and clicked to take a picture. I rolled the film to the next frame, took another, and repeated the process. Suddenly, I heard a popping sound somewhere behind me. I rolled the film lever with my thumb, now an automatic action, then turned toward the sound, only to see people scrambling and running to higher ground. The sound I heard wasn’t a pop. It was a gunshot. I looked back toward the motorcade and stood in horror as a man crawled over the back of the open convertible and the thing that caught my attention was the splotches of red invading Jackie’s beautiful pink suit. John Kennedy no longer sat smiling in front of me but was down in the seat on Jackie’s lap.

***

Excerpt from If I Had a Hammer by Teresa Trent.
Copyright 2023 by Teresa Trent.
Reproduced with permission from Teresa Trent.
All rights reserved.

Author Bio:

Teresa Trent

Teresa Trent is the author of over 15 books. She started writing cozy mysteries with the Pecan Bayou and Piney Woods Mystery Series. She sets her stories in different geographical areas of Texas and The Swinging Sixties historical series is set just north of Dallas, starting in 1962. You might think with so many books set in the Lone Star state, she was born there, but no. She has lived all over the world, thanks to her father’s career in the army. After living in Texas for twenty-five years, she’s finally put down roots.

Teresa is a hybrid author, self-publishing early in her career, which led her to traditional publishing with Level Best Books and Camel Press. She is the author of several short stories that have appeared in a host of anthologies. Teresa publishes the blog and podcast, Books to the Ceiling at https://teresatrent.blog where she loves to read the book excerpts of other writers and share in the writing community.

Teresa is a member of Sisters in Crime and lives in Houston, Texas with her husband and son.

Catch Up With Teresa:
TeresaTrent.com
Books to the Ceiling Podcast
Goodreads
BookBub – @TeresaTrent
Instagram – @teresatrent_cozymys
Twitter – @ttrent_cozymys
Facebook – @teresatrentmysterywriter

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Book Showcase: THE GOLDEN MANUSCRIPTS by Evy Journey

THE GOLDEN MANUSCRIPTS by Evy Journey book cover: gold background with the title floating in the top center and a ghostly image of an opened book on the bottom third of the coverThe Golden Manuscripts, Between Two Worlds – Book 6, by Evy Journey
ISBN: 9780996247498 (Paperback)
ASIN: B0BWP9B9HC (Kindle edition)
Page Count: 344
Release Date: March 16, 2023
Pubsher: Soujourner Books
Genre: Fiction | Cultural Heritage

In her quest for the provenance of stolen art, she discovers a passion and a home.

Clarissa Martinez, a biracial young woman has lived in seven different countries by the time she turns twenty. She thinks it’s time to settle in a place she could call home. But where?

She joins a quest for the provenance of stolen illuminated manuscripts, a medieval art form that languished with the fifteenth-century invention of the printing press. For her, these ancient manuscripts elicit cherished memories of children’s picture books her mother read to her, nourishing a passion for art.

Though immersed in art, she’s naïve about life. She’s disheartened and disillusioned by the machinations the quest reveals of an esoteric, sometimes unscrupulous art world. What compels individuals to steal artworks, and conquerors to plunder them from the vanquished? Why do collectors buy artworks for hundreds of millions of dollars? Who decides the value of an art piece and how?

And she wonders—will this quest reward her with a sense of belonging, a sense of home?

Purchase Links #CommissionEarned: Amazon | Amazon Kindle | Barnes and Noble

Read an Excerpt:

Chapter One

November 2000

Rare Manuscripts

I sometimes wish I was your girl next door. The pretty one who listens to you and sympathizes. Doesn’t ask questions you can’t or don’t want to answer. Comes when you need to talk.

She’s sweet, gracious, respectful, and sincere. An open book. Everybody’s ideal American girl.

At other times, I wish I was the beautiful girl with creamy skin, come-hither eyes, and curvy lines every guy drools over. The one you can’t have, unless you’re a hunk of an athlete, or the most popular hunk around. Or you have a hunk of money.

But I’m afraid the image I project is that of a brain with meager social skills. The one you believe can outsmart you in so many ways that you keep out of her way—you know the type. Or at least you think you do. Just as you think you know the other two.

I want to believe I’m smart, though I know I can be dumb. I’m not an expert on anything. So, please wait to pass judgement until you get to know us better—all three of us.

Who am I then?

I’m not quite sure yet. I’m the one who’s still searching for where she belongs.

I’m not a typical American girl. Dad is Asian and Mom is white. I was born into two different cultures, neither of which dug their roots into me. But you’ll see my heritage imprinted all over me—on beige skin with an olive undertone; big grey eyes, double-lidded but not deep-set; a small nose with a pronounced narrow bridge; thick, dark straight hair like Dad’s that glints with bronze under the sun, courtesy of Mom’s genes.

I have a family: Mom, Dad, Brother. Sadly, we’re no longer one unit. Mom and Dad are about ten thousand miles apart. And my brother and I are somewhere in between.

 

I have no one I call friend. Except myself, of course. That part of me who perceives my actions for what they are. My inner voice. My constant companion and occasional nemesis. Moving often and developing friendships lasting three years at most, I’ve learned to turn inward.

And then there’s Arthur, my beautiful brother. Though we were raised apart, we’ve become close. Like me, he was born in the US. But he grew up in my father’s home city where his friends call him Tisoy, a diminutive for Mestizo that sometimes hints at admiration, sometimes at mockery. Locals use the label for anyone with an obvious mix of Asian and Caucasian features. We share a few features, but he’s inherited a little more from Mom. Arthur has brown wavy hair and green eyes that invite remarks from new acquaintances.

Little Arthur, not so little anymore. Taller than me now, in fact, by two inches. We’ve always gotten along quite well. Except the few times we were together when we were children and he’d keep trailing me, like a puppy, mimicking what I did until I got annoyed. I’d scowl at him, run away so fast he couldn’t catch up. Then I’d close my bedroom door on him. Sometimes I wondered if he annoyed me on purpose so that later he could hug me and say, “I love you” to soften me up. It always worked.

I love Arthur not only because we have some genes in common. He has genuinely lovable qualities—and I’m sure people can’t always say that of their siblings. He’s caring and loyal, and I trust him to be there through thick and thin. I also believe he’s better put together than I am, he whom my parents were too busy to raise.

I am certain of only one thing about myself: I occupy time and space like everyone. My tiny space no one else can claim on this planet, in this new century. But I still do not have a place where I would choose to spend and end my days. I’m a citizen of a country, though. The country where I was born. And yet I can’t call that country home. I don’t know it much. But worse than that, I do not have much of a history there.

Before today, I trudged around the globe for two decades. Cursed and blessed by having been born to a father who was a career diplomat sent on assignments to different countries, I’ve lived in different cities since I was born, usually for three to four years at a time.

 

Those years of inhabiting different cities in Europe and Asia whizzed by. You could say I hardly noticed them because it was the way of life I was born into. But each of those cities must have left some lasting mark on me that goes into the sum of who I am. And yet, I’m still struggling to form a clear idea of the person that is Me. This Me can’t be whole until I single out a place to call home.

Everyone has a home they’ve set roots in. We may not be aware of it, but a significant part of who we think we are—who others think we are—depends on where we’ve lived. The place we call home. A place I don’t have. Not yet. But I will.

I was three when I left this city. Having recently come back as an adult, I can’t tell whether, or for how long, I’m going to stay. You may wonder why, having lived in different places, I would choose to seek a home in this city—this country as alien to me as any other town or city I’ve passed through.

By the end of my last school year at the Sorbonne, I was convinced that if I were to find a home, my birthplace might be my best choice. I was born here. In a country where I can claim citizenship. Where the primary language is English. My choice avoids language problems and pesky legal residency issues. Practical and logical reasons, I think.

*****

Three years ago, my father announced our wandering days were over and we had to settle on a permanent home. After twenty-five years of service, he was exhausted and wanted to retire while he was still relatively young. Used to having his way, he decreed that home would be the Philippines where he was born, and where he has an extended family of near and far relatives. He would request to be posted there for his last assignment. I’d known for a while that Mom’s desire and beliefs would not carry any weight in Dad’s decision.

Living with my paternal grandparents much of the time, Arthur could call Dad’s birthplace home.

Unlike the rest of my family, I had no place I felt I belonged. I was rootless. No deep loyalty to any place I’ve lived in. I was born in California and though I spent the first three years of my life there, I grew up in at least six other cities. None of which became home to me.

Rambling around new places and plunging into new cultures—sometimes fascinating, sometimes strange in their novelty—was exciting for a while. It didn’t bother me that I was always leaving new friends behind. Mom had always been there. Dad, too. They were the constants in my life I was led to believe were all I needed. So, at eighteen, I had no firm ideas of home. But certain that my father’s stint in Paris would last for at least another year, I told myself, I still had time to decide.

For now, I occupy space in the art staff office of the university I attend. At the noon hour on a breezy, clear November day, in a city across the bay from San Francisco. Deep in the season when, east of us, rainstorms are pounding towns and cities, we’re still hoping for much-needed rain.

Autumn is not how I expected it to be, moving to this area as an adult. I miss the colors fall brings everywhere east of us. Here, Japanese maples, oaks, and gingkoes also shed leaves in shades of yellow, red, and brown. But they are mere accents to the more abundant eternal greens clinging to pine, citrus, and bamboo trees scattered all over the region. Some nights could be foggy or overcast until early morning, leaving damp sidewalks and dewy trees. By midday, the fog usually gives way to sunny and windy afternoons.

Right now, I’m alone, eating leftover pad thai from the takeout dinner I shared with my brother last night. Sitting at a desk at the back of an open area with two rows of desks where graduate assistants park their belongings. Four feet separate the two rows, each desk in a row set apart by enough room to push a chair back and sit.

The professors we work for occupy small offices bathed in eastern sun, their own little havens outfitted with bigger desks, built-in bookshelves, glass windows and glass-topped walls and doors that give them some privacy.

I’ve closed the door to the whole office. I relish this tranquil hour of solitude when I can chill out as I listen to easy music and eat lunch. Everyone else has left for the mid-day break and won’t be back for at least an hour.

I’ve been working in this office for three months, but I still don’t feel I’m in my element. I’m learning it isn’t enough to be part of a group with common interests, working in one place. Maybe, I need more time. I’m the newest graduate assistant, and though we’re all art practice majors, I want to specialize in what the art world today might consider an obscure or ancient art form—illuminated manuscripts. An art form which flourished in the medieval period, the printing press pushed it into near extinction.

In between slurping long rice noodles pinched between wooden chopsticks, I scan the news on artnews.com on my laptop—the usual way I pass this hour.

A headline catches my attention:

Long Lost Fifteenth-Century Illuminated Manuscript Found?

I put noodles and chopsticks down across the top of the plastic bowl of half-eaten pad thai and lean my body a little closer to the screen.

Art goes missing, too. Like people. Sometimes for a long time. Every piece of art also needs a home, not necessarily its place of origin. Take the famous Mona Lisa. Except for the two years a thief kept it in a suitcase, depriving the public a quick or long view of it, the painting has resided in the Louvre since the early sixteenth century. The king of France had bought it from Italian painter Leonardo da Vinci.

Most readers would be indifferent to this news of a newly recovered illuminated manuscript if it had been reported by general news sources. They may never have heard of medieval manuscripts, nor cared about them if they knew what they were. A few may wonder why or how manuscripts could be illuminated.

Artists might know a thing or two about them from art history classes, but most artists attend college to sharpen their skills and become better painters, sculptors, conceptual artists, performance artists.

But I’m neither one of those artists, nor a reader with a passing interest in art. To me, this is big news.

Among the four of us who work for Professor Adam Fischl, I’m something of an odd fish, not only because I’m rootless. As far as I can tell, no other graduate student in the art department gets excited about medieval illuminated manuscripts. The creation of illuminated manuscripts is a minor genre compared to canvas or panel painting, or sculpture, or conceptual art. You could even argue it’s a dead art. But it was a major and thriving genre during medieval times.

I learned about illuminated manuscripts in an art history class, for which I later wrote a paper on the blossoming of this art form under the reign of Charlemagne. In writing my paper, I realized my interest in illustrated manuscripts has been nurtured from the time my mother read to me. No, she didn’t read me illuminated manuscripts. She read picture books.What, after all, are illuminated manuscripts, but picture books? Granted, of a very special kind. How special? They’re handwritten, not printed. On parchment—scraped, stretched, and dried animal skin—capable of lasting centuries. An “illumination” is, in fact, a picture or illustration that conveys the meaning of a piece of text. Adorned with gold or silver leaf, these illustrations radiate light. The first letters of accompanying texts, and other decorations on a page, usually also glow with gold or silver. Sometimes, texts are inscribed in gold or silver ink.

I believe illustrated books have been essential to my awakening as a thinking, feeling being. Aren’t they, though, for every child whose parents read them stories?

Children’s picture books make it easier to understand the meanings of images through the stories that accompany them. The images can tell you more about a story than words alone can. And quite often, we have happy memories of having picture books read to us.

Tap into your memory bank, as I often have of some of my warmest memories of childhood—cradled on my mother’s lap, safe between her arms, while she’s holding a large book in front of me. Beautiful, colorful pictures adorn each page. A magical story unfolds below those pictures as she’s reading it to me. She’s drawing me into the story as she adapts her voice to every character. I always imagine myself as one of the characters. The little heroine, of course.

She reads me one book. But it only whets my appetite. So, she reads me another. And another, if she has time. Some books I like more than others—between their pages live the stories I ask her to read to me over and over.

When I turn five, she teaches me how those stories are built up: First, the letters, the basic elements needed to make up, as well as read, a story. Each letter is presented with a picture on a page—an apple with “A,” “B” and a ball, “C” and a cat … Such is how I began my adventure into reading.

The letters grow into words, their meanings illustrated by more images. The words are strung together to form single ideas. Ideas grow into scenarios. Scenarios grow into stories. And stories come alive with narrative images. All absorbed within the warmth of my mother’s love. Typical upbringing, wouldn’t you say? A lot like yours.

Except, my picture books are different in one way. The picture books Mom reads to me include many about the life and culture of every new city we land in. Picture books that—I realize later—she chose to help alleviate the problems of transitioning from one city and culture to another. Somehow, Mom always seems to find English versions of those books. One such book is The Little Prince.

When as an adult, I returned to Paris, I bought Le Petit Prince, the French original, illustrated and written by its author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It has remained one of my most-loved books. I read it at least once a year, often at Christmas. It keeps me in touch with the child that’s in all of us. It reminds me of the unalloyed wisdom in childhood that growing up often buries in the pursuit of reality and knowledge.

My picture books pile up as we move from one place to another. Sometimes, Mom and I visit museums, often city museums exhibiting local artworks. I became aware at age nine that we’re both stockpiling experiences and memories of our short lives in a place we may be leaving forever.

After such an introduction, how can I not believe there’s magic in pictures? They contain more than what you see, maybe disguise or hide some deeper meaning than what’s obvious. You must look longer, probe deeper to see beyond the images your eyes pick up. Maybe that’s why, as a child, I loved games instructing you to find a miniscule or camouflaged image or object in a larger picture.

Artists put details in a painting you may see only as part of the background or landscape. But such details may be symbols or icons for the society, time, and culture the artist lived in. Jan van Eyck’s famous Arnolfini Portrait is frequently cited as full of symbolism, although art historians have not always agreed on the meanings of specific details. The dog at their feet, for instance, has been thought to symbolize loyalty and devotion. But another historian has proposed it portends the death of the woman in the portrait: Dogs have been found on female tombs in ancient Rome.

Apart from my parents’ caring, picture books—the artistry they demand and exhibit—may be the only constant in my past gypsy-like existence. Children’s picture books planted a seed in me that blossomed into a love of art.

*****

The artnews.com article is brief. An art dealer is selling a medieval manuscript: handwritten on vellum, the finest parchment made from calf skin; gold leaf and tempera; intact and in good condition. It’s a fifteenth-century adaptation of The Utrecht Psalter.

No images accompany the article. No manuscript cover. No sample page or two from within the manuscript. Odd that those are missing in a news item for an artwork uploaded to an online marketplace for art. No information is given, either, on who owns it, but that’s not unusual. And none on how the manuscript was lost—also odd since this fact is emphasized by its inclusion in the headline. And why the question mark?

The article does say the manuscript is a colorful adaptation of The Utrecht Psalter, often cited as possibly the best-known, and in some scholars’ opinions, the best manuscript illumination produced during Charlemagne’s reign in the ninth century. It captivated many medieval artists who copied its lively and expressive figures sketched in brown ink, running across every page.

Faithful reproductions of this psalter still exist, like The Harley Psalter, which anyone can access online in the British Library. Other artists infused their adaptation of The Utrecht Psalter with their own style, decorating texts, and using color or painted figures rather than sketches. But until this newly discovered manuscript, I wasn’t aware The Utrecht Psalter‘s influence on later manuscripts reached well into the fifteenth century, at least five hundred years from its creation.

The question mark baffles me. What can it mean? Uncertainty about the manuscript’s authenticity? Was it produced in the 15th century as claimed?

The art world has had its problems with artists who can create copies of masterpieces good enough to pass off and sell as originals. Forgers, we call them, though they’re usually highly skilled artists. And the copies they produce, we call fakes instead of the more neutral term ‘reproduction.’ Fakes are usually passed off as originals of well-known masterpieces or as previously unknown artworks by old masters like Rembrandt, DaVinci, Michelangelo, Vermeer, and by later ones like Cezanne, Van Gogh, Matisse, Picasso, Gauguin, and Manet—artists whose works are guaranteed to attract big money.

I have no idea how much this particular manuscript would fetch in the art market. Who collects them? Only libraries and museums and rich collectors of rare books? I know an artwork’s provenance can make a difference in its sale. Is it in question? Who owns it now? How was it lost? How was it recovered and by whom? Who did it belong to before the current owners? If somewhere in its journey to the present, evidence surfaces of this manuscript having been stolen, then the art dealer and its owner may find it impossible to sell.

This piece of news wouldn’t cause a blip in the public radar. But the discovery of original manuscripts as old as the fifteenth century gets art historians and certain art dealers excited. If for no other reason than that an old unique artwork can fetch a lot of money.

What a privilege and an experience it would be not only to see this once lost manuscript underneath its protective glass case. But also, to leaf through its pages. Feast my eyes on its illustrations. It’s a psalter so it contains psalms. But who created it and where (that is, which scriptorium)? Was its scribe also the illustrator? Does it have a traceable history from its creation and initial ownership to whoever claims to own it now? Could it be a quest that I can plunge into? That can consume me? Define me?

I sit back on my chair. Pick up my chopsticks. Slurp noodles back into my mouth. Too distracted to taste them. Wondering how I could see this fifteenth-century manuscript for myself. A facsimile, if there is one, might suffice. Given the fragility of these books, only properly credentialed experts could have access to them. And I’m not yet one of those.

How about doing an illuminated manuscript about medieval illuminated manuscripts for my master’s thesis? I could analyze this resurrected adaptation of The Utrecht Psalter. In choosing to do so, I would be both scribe and illustrator, treading in the footsteps of many medieval artists who copied extant manuscripts or created new ones.

The immediate gut appeal of the idea turns into a frisson of apprehension as I imagine what such a project would entail. It’s an exciting prospect, but would I be up to it? Painting small colorful pictures in egg tempera, a medium I haven’t used? Applying gold leaf on pictures and letters, a skill that seems easy enough to learn? Handwriting content on parchment, a material I’m unfamiliar with? Writing with some fancy medieval script I would have to practice? Sewing the pages together to bind the manuscript? Fashioning a wood, leather, metal, or ivory cover, to me the most intimidating task in the whole process?

I would have wanted to spend more time indulging my fantasies and confronting my trepidation, but my reverie is abruptly cut short by someone opening the door to the office from the outside.

Lena, the office secretary, strides in, glancing at me as she passes by on her way to her office. I acknowledge her with a nod. She waves to me in response. She’s on her way to her office at the southern end of the row of professors’ offices, one larger than those of faculty. But it has neither windows nor a door. Its space accommodates the office machines by her desk and the deep filing cabinets lining her walls.

Don, the assistant to the professors of color, composition, and painting classes, saunters in a minute later. Two other assistants trickle back from lunch.

It’s time to leave. I have a painting class the rest of the afternoon. I pick up my backpack off the floor, gather my empty lunch box and chopsticks, shove both into my backpack, and rush out of the office, backpack slung on my shoulder.

Three and a half hours later, I leave the painting class a little early and hurry back to the office to catch Professor Fischl, hoping this isn’t one of those infrequent days when he doesn’t return to his office after his afternoon classes, and wondering if it might be premature to talk to him about my thesis. I’m only in the first semester of graduate school.

But I’m too fired up to control my impulse.

How often does a medieval illuminated manuscript resurface after it has been missing—maybe for a long time? It should draw even more attention if the art world had not known of its existence. Am I not being thrown an unexpected opportunity? A rare challenge staring me in the face that I have no choice but to seize? A foray into a form of art meaningful to me, helping sustain me through the many transitions I’ve had to endure?

Excerpt from The Golden Manuscripts by Evy Journey.
Copyright © 2023 by Evy Journey.
Published with permission. All rights reserved.

Meet the Author

Evy Journey writes. Stories and blog posts. Novels that tend to cross genres. She’s also a wannabe artist, and a flâneuse.

Evy studied psychology (M.A., University of Hawaii; Ph.D. University of Illinois). So her fiction spins tales about nuanced characters dealing with contemporary life issues and problems. She believes in love and its many faces.

Her one ungranted wish: To live in Paris where art is everywhere and people have honed aimless roaming to an art form. She has visited and stayed a few months at a time.

Connect with the author via Facebook | Goodreads | Instagram | Website
This excerpt brought to you via Author Marketing Experts

 

Book Showcase: JAM RUN by Russell Brooks

JAM RUN by Russell Brooks book cover featuring a reddish-orange sky in the background with a close-up of palm trees in the foregroundJam Run, An Eddie Barrow Mystery, by Russell Brooks
ISBN: 9780986751387 (Paperback)
ISBN: 9780986751394 (eBook)
ASIN: B0BZ1C8T4F (Kindle edition)
Page Count: 571
Release Date: March 31, 2023
Genre: Fiction | Crime Thriller | LGBT Fiction

What if crying out for help made you a target?

Within hours of arriving in Montego Bay, Eddie Barrow and his friend Corey Stephenson witness a gruesome murder outside a bar. When the victim’s sister reaches out for help, they learn of machinations to conceal foreign corporate corruption and a series of horrific sex crimes. However, Barrow and Stephenson’s commitment to solving the case is put to the test once they find themselves in the crosshairs of a ruthless criminal network—one that extends beyond the shores of Jamaica.

The Eddie Barrow Series:
Book 1: Chill Run
Book 2: Jam Run
Purchase Links #CommissionEarned: Amazon | Amazon Kindle | B&N eBook | Kobo eBook

Read an Excerpt:

Chapter 1
Citrusville Bar, Pegga Road, Irwin, Jamaica.

Eddie Barrow thrust a Jamaican five-hundred-dollar bill across the counter to the bartender before the other patron could utter a syllable. There was no way in hell Eddie was going to let someone else cut in front of him tonight.

This time it was a wire-thin sista, dressed in a crop-top, Harley Quinn shorts, and a Mary J Blige weave. To him, she looked like she must be thinking, “He ain’t much of a man,” but Eddie couldn’t give a rat’s ass what she thought. He may not have been born in Barbados like his parents, but he knew the rules of the Caribbean—that cut-ins were a way of life down here.

At five foot eight and a little over one hundred and seventy pounds, Barrow wasn’t the most physically imposing brotha around, but it didn’t mean that he didn’t know how to stand his ground when he needed to.

“Two waters please,” Eddie yelled as he competed with the heavy bass in the background that shook his internal organs, while keeping his hand on his money.

The bartender leaned closer. “What you say?”

“I said water.” He held up two fingers. “Two.”

Eddie loosened his grip on the bill as the bartender pulled it away and slipped it in the cash register. He reached below the counter, then placed two bottles in front of Eddie before moving on to the sista who’d tried to budge him.

With a bottle in each hand, Eddie navigated through the crowd. It was no different than trying to exit a packed subway car—especially getting elbowed and poked. He kept looking down, worried someone was going to step on his toes and dirty up his pristine pair of Air Max runners.

This was exactly the reason Eddie outgrew the club scene a year after he came into it, roughly seven years before. It didn’t take him long before he realized that he wasn’t missing anything. As for Corey Stephenson, his “brotha from anotha motha” from way back, clubbing and going out was more his thing. Eddie was the quiet one who always wanted to stay home with his head buried in a book or, up until recently, writing one to keep up with deadlines. If he went out, it was because Corey had dragged him.

The funny thing was that Eddie had always been told that Barbadians—Bajans—were the loudest, more so than Trinidadians. Corey was born in Trinidad and moved to Montreal when he was around eleven or twelve, not too long before he saved Eddie’s ass from a bunch of skinheads who’d ambushed him in the park. At a solid six foot two with his Trini charm, he was always able to talk his way into a woman’s panties, unlike Eddie.

But he’d since settled down a bit. Getting his girlfriend pregnant and then marrying her had changed Corey for the better. He’d once had an alcohol problem too. Those were moments that Eddie wanted to forget. One of those memories involved the two of them and Corey’s then-girlfriend, Jordyn, being on the run from the police for a murder Eddie had been framed for.

Eddie didn’t even wait to get back to Corey before he took a drink of his water to cool off in this sweltering Jamaican heat. Even though this section of the bar was outdoors, a bunch of brothas and sistas crowded together like sardines still made the mercury rise, especially since they weren’t close enough to the ocean to catch the breeze.

They’d only arrived from Montreal earlier that afternoon. As expected, Corey had to drag Eddie out of the Airbnb to find the nearest party.

It was their first time in Jamaica. It was business for Eddie. Pleasure for Corey. In less than twelve hours Eddie would be signing copies of his latest thriller, which was why he didn’t want to be out too late or drink anything alcoholic. Eddie was a lightweight. The last thing he needed was to be hungover during the book signing.

“Come on, it’ll only be for a few hours. You’ll have plenty of time to sleep,” Corey had said earlier. Which only made Eddie sigh. He didn’t have much of a track record in saying no to his friend.

Of all the areas Corey chose to drag him to, why did it have to be a ghetto on top of a hill? The only light aside from the headlights of their rental car came from the car graveyard to their left. Beyond that was pure blackness, as they drove on the two-laned road through an area of thick forest on either side. Even worse, the road was so neglected that they were forced to drive at a speed slower than one found in a school zone. Had they been ambushed by a street gang they’d have better luck escaping on foot.

As for school zones, the Irwin Primary School was adjacent from where they were. Eddie couldn’t imagine a worse area to build a school. Hell, he couldn’t believe he was at a party that could potentially be interrupted by gunfire at any moment.

Maybe he should’ve asked for a drink doused with rum to calm his nerves. All of this because Corey wanted to party in what he called the real Jamaica, and not the area that catered to tourists.

A sista caught Eddie’s attention, clearly not hiding the fact that she was eyeing him. The woman’s jet-black hair with blond highlights reached the top of her midnight dress—one which conveniently stopped just below her thighs. When she turned to the side it was as though the world moved in slow motion. Yeah, she wanted him to notice her, especially her peach-shaped booty. Eddie’s eyes then dropped to her feet, and he nodded in appreciation. A wicked pair of stilettos. This sista had polished herself literally from head to toe. He no longer thought of getting a rum drink because his nerves were calmer than ever.

He gazed around now. There must be at least a dozen brothas there, all ready to jump her bones.

Eddie shook it off and found Corey—lost in his own world—doing the Gully Creepa. At least the crowd wasn’t as dense, and the air was less tainted by the smell of sweat and perfume. He held out Corey’s water bottle.

“Corey,” yelled Eddie, but his friend didn’t seem to notice. Eddie tapped the bottle on Corey’s shoulder, catching his attention.

“There you are.” Corey took the bottle and unscrewed the cap. “What took you so long?”

“Don’t ask.”

Corey drank a bit and then nodded past Eddie. “You notice that girl staring at you?”

What a question to ask. How could he not? Eddie had always been the more observant of the two. He finished off his water in a single swig, giving Corey what Eddie hoped was a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah, I saw her.”

“Why don’t you go talk to her?”

“Oh sure, so that I look desperate.”

“Bwoy, stop being a pussy and go talk to her.” Corey shook his head and took a swig.

Eddie watched as three brothas—two of them solidly built—approached the sista. They weren’t holding back, and one of the three reached under her skirt from behind. But she had already spotted them, anticipated his move, and slapped his hand away before striding off.

The brotha laughed as he casually ran his hand over the top of his durag. The other, who wore a bandana, bent over at the waist, laughing as he held onto his friend’s shoulder. The third, who looked like the odd one of the three, bowed his head and looked away while covering his mouth. He, unlike the other two, didn’t fit the tough-guy, macho type. In fact, he looked as though he was embarrassed by his friend’s behavior.

“You see that?” Eddie asked.

Corey nodded. “She’s waiting for you to make the first move.”

Eddie knew when Corey was right, and this was one of those times. People around him were up on each other, sistas whinin’ up on a brotha—bent over between six-fifteen and six-thirty—to music, whose lyrics at times even degraded them.

Eddie caught her smile as she ran two fingers across her brow to clear away the few strands of hair that fell over her eye. He approached her slowly, not letting go of her gaze. She gravitated toward him. The music stopped, and the DJ screamed something in Jamaican Patois that Eddie couldn’t understand, right before bombastic dancehall music blasted around him. Eddie was caught off guard as the woman spun around and backed up into him—ass first—and performed the most energetic and wildest Dutty Wine he’d ever seen. She then followed through to Bruk It Down.

Damn, she has skills.

It was way more than Eddie could handle, and he struggled to keep up with her. She then turned around and looked into his eyes—their noses barely touching. He stared back, held her gaze, but something was off. It made him pause his dancing, a tiny voice in his head telling him to back up. But he was caught off guard when the sista grabbed him by the shoulders with a firm grip. Before he realized what was happening, she hoisted herself in the air and locked her legs around him just above the waist in a vicelike grip. Out of reflex, he quickly took a deep breath as he felt the pressure from her legs on his ribcage.

The jump’s momentum knocked him off balance, and he stumbled backward before falling, nearly striking his head on the ground. The crowd went crazy, and all Eddie heard was howling laughter. For the next several seconds, the jarringly loud thumps of the bass from the speakers were reduced to background noise.

Eddie felt as though a nasty prank had been pulled on him as the back of his throat dried up.

But she wasn’t done with him yet. She continued gyrating onto him as though nothing had happened while he lay on his back. She then spun around to face the opposite way—with her ass literally up in his face as she shook it. All Eddie saw was booty and thong. He couldn’t help but watch—his neck hurt from holding his head up for so long. She then did a front roll into a handstand, held it, then gracefully let one leg fall after the next to form a bridge, and pulled herself up at the waist, with seemingly little effort, to stand on both feet.

Eddie couldn’t hold his head up any longer, and let it drop as he breathed deeply, attempting to process what the hell just happened. Even before he sat up, brothas inundated him as they rushed to give him high-fives. He was slow to return them, considering that he was still recovering from the ordeal.

He couldn’t tell if the crowd was cheering or laughing. It sounded more like laughing—and at him. Twenty-seven years young, and he still felt like the odd one in the crowd. It reminded him of the times in elementary and high school gym class where he was always the last one chosen to be on a team.

The sista winked at him before turning to go. He felt the blood rushing to his groin as her ass bounced from side to side as she sashayed away.

“Wait,” Eddie yelled as he scrambled to his feet. But she was already gone.

Where did she go?

Eddie heard Corey’s long, drawling holler as his friend grabbed his shoulder. “Yoooooooo! Did you get her number?”

Eddie turned to him and saw Corey wiping the tears away with his towel.

“Naw, she took off too fast.”

Corey shook his head. “Come again? You let her do all that, and you didn’t even get her number?”

“I said she was gone before I could get up. By the way, I’m okay, considering that I nearly cracked the back of my head open.”

“That ain’t no excuse. Bwoy, I oughta slap you upside the head.”

It was then that the DJ lowered the music and started yelling into the mic, announcing a dance-off, and that the participants should present themselves. Six army-vet-looking brothas, showing off their pecs by wearing tight black t-shirts with the word SECURITY emblazoned on the back, cleared a circle. As the area was being prepared, four young sistas—ranging from petite to thunder thighs—were already on the floor.

Corey beckoned Eddie to follow him quickly so that they could get a closer view. There was only one row of people in front, forcing Eddie to look between to see, while Corey, being the taller one, only inconvenienced the ones behind him.

It took just a few moments before Eddie spotted her again. She was on the opposite side of the circle, talking to another sista. It appeared that she was complimenting her on her dress. The woman then took out her smartphone, and they snapped a selfie. The smile was so irresistible. But something was still off, and a red flag was flapping in his mind. If only he knew why. The other sista, whom she took the selfie with, ran into the circle as the DJ blasted the music again.

Eddie tapped Corey’s arm. “I’ll be back.”

“You leave, and you’re going to lose your spot.”

Eddie then nodded in the direction of the woman. “It’ll be worth it.”

When Corey looked away, Eddie saw what appeared to be a scuffle. He nearly pushed aside the person in front of him to get a better view. It was the woman. She was trying to leave, but some brothas and sistas were blocking her path.

A few seconds later, though, it appeared that they were persuading her to join the dance-off. It came to the point where the woman was literally pushed into the circle, where the other sistas already had a head start.

The look on her face—she was worried. It was as though she didn’t want to do it or even be there anymore. But the crowd was not forgiving. One of the bouncers who helped clear the area came to her and said something into her ear. It was at that moment that she removed a stiletto.

Bedlam.

Eddie thought he would go deaf from the amount of screaming that erupted around him.

The second stiletto came off, and she handed those, along with her purse, to the bouncer. She relaxed, and her smile came back. It was contagious enough that it even made Eddie smile. After she started to move, he knew that the contest was already over after the first twenty seconds. It was evident by the amount of noise the crowd made that she was the winner. Two of the other competitors seemed to know they didn’t stand a chance of winning, and they gave up and bolted in a New York Minute. She clearly had more energy and endurance than the remaining competitors. However, it was the backflip ending in ground splits that sealed the deal for her.

Game over.

The music came to an abrupt stop, and the DJ called out the names of the remaining contestants one at a time to let the amount of noise the crowd made determine the winner. He came last to the woman Eddie had danced with. The DJ had to ask for her name.

She must be new. How else would the DJ know the others and not her? Eddie thought.

The woman was handed her belongings along with a cordless mic. She then turned to the DJ. “My name’s Shenice.”

Chaos.

Eddie was bounced from both sides and from behind as everyone around him completely lost it—jumping up and down, swinging towels, obviously not caring who they knocked into. It was soon after that the DJ announced her as the winner.

“You better get her number. That’s wifey material,” Corey shouted into Eddie’s ear. Eddie didn’t answer. As blown away as he was, he still couldn’t help but feel that there was something off about Shenice.

As she slid her feet back into her stilettos, a brotha walked to Shenice and handed her an ultra-wide gold-colored column trophy and an envelope. Eddie assumed the latter was either a cash prize or a gift card.

Thunder-thighs and the selfie-sista both gave Shenice congratulatory hugs while the other two women scowled and stormed off.

Eddie forced his way past the people in front of him, but others crowded back inside the circle, creating enough obstacles to slow him down. When he got to where Shenice was, she was gone again.

Shit, man!

He jumped in the air a few times, hoping to see her above the crowd. The sixth time he spotted the blond highlights at the back of her head.

“Shenice,” Eddie yelled, only for his voice to be lost among the dozens. He went to the spot where he last saw her and found himself next to a line to the ladies’ room.

A line this long, she couldn’t have gotten in so quickly. “Excuse me. Anyone see Shenice?”

“Who yuh call Shenice? Which Shenice is dat?” answered one woman in a heavy Jamaican accent.

“She just won.” All Eddie saw were shaking heads.

“Me no see yar pass tru.” Eddie assumed she said: I didn’t see her pass through here.

How does Shenice keep going ninja on me? He went back and found Corey waiting where he had left him.

“And?”

Eddie furrowed a brow and shook his head. He tugged at his own collar. “I’m going out to the parking lot for a bit. It’s too stuffy here.”

The sound of tiny gravel crunching under his feet was a relief from the jarring bass from the subwoofers. As he walked between two rows of cars, all he saw were Toyotas, Mitsubishis, and Hondas—not an American or European car in sight. The ringing in his ears wasn’t as bad as he had expected.

His phone buzzed in his front pants pocket. He grabbed it and saw the envelope icon indicating that he had received a text message. Eddie held his thumb on the monitor in the fingerprint display to unlock it. The message was from Corey, asking if he’d found Shenice.

Eddie replied with a “No.” A few seconds later, the phone buzzed again. He checked it out, expecting to see Corey’s answer. Instead, he noticed that his text didn’t go through. It bounced back, accompanied by a red exclamation mark. Damn. A slashed zero replaced the phone signal bars and the Wi-Fi icon at the top of the screen.

No signal.

Eddie stopped and walked backward a few steps while raising the phone above him to catch the signal. Still nothing.

That was odd.

Eddie slid the phone back into his pocket. He tapped the other one—the third time he’d done so this evening—and still felt the thin pouch. The pouch was too obscure to be visible to a would-be pickpocket but large enough to just hold his ID and a few dollar bills. No sense checking it too often, or he’d tip off someone that he had something of value on him. As for his wallet, he’d left it in the glove compartment of his car.

His thoughts drifted back to Shenice. What kind of sista whine-up on a man so and don’t even talk to him after? But she was gone. Either she caught a taxi, was picked up by a friend, or she drove herself. Who knew? Again, the thought came back to him that there was something unusual about her. It was killing him that he couldn’t figure out what it was.

Eddie was startled by shouting that came from several cars away, and he turned to see what appeared to be fighting among three people. Two brothas held onto a sista by the arms and threw her facedown onto the hood of a car. Eddie’s walk turned into a jog so that he could get a better view. He paused when he saw that it was Durag and Bandana. Eddie couldn’t see the sista’s face but caught a glimpse of the back of her head and saw the blond highlights, sending his heartbeat into overdrive.

Holy shit, they’re going to rape Shenice.

“Hey!” Eddie yelled, catching the attention of Shenice’s attackers just as he was about to rush them. “Leave her—”

The cuff to the back of his head sent a shock that penetrated Eddie’s brain. The world spun around him, seconds before he fell forward, striking another solid object before he hit the ground. He scrunched up his face as he forced his eyes shut, crying out from the agonizing pain. But he only heard his cries internally. Something—no, someone was forcing down hard on his mouth with what felt like a damp cloth with a noxious-smelling chemical. Whatever it was, he had already inhaled too much of it that he was left disoriented.

He felt the crook of an arm under his chin, pulling him backward. His body fell limp as his heels dragged across the ground. He didn’t even have the strength to turn his head to see his attacker before his eyes got very heavy.

***

The choking startled Eddie awake. He rolled on his side, only to inhale a mouthful of dust, making things worse. He got onto all fours as he tried to take deep breaths in between violent coughs. He turned around and into a seated position with his back to one of the cars beside him. The right side of his forehead throbbed. He put a hand to it. Things started to come back to him. He had bumped his head. And right before that, he was hit from behind. And that was right before…

Shenice.

Standing was a struggle, but he held onto the car next to him for support. Once up, he heard the banging cacophony coming from the bar. He let go of the car to see if he could walk on his own but ended up stumbling forward. Eddie braced himself on the car again to stop himself from falling.

He did his best to maintain his footing as he headed to where he had seen Shenice being attacked.

“Shenice?” Eddie yelled. Nothing but the slow-jamming reggae in the background. He grabbed his cell and called Corey, holding the phone to his ear as he searched the area.

Come on, pick-up. It suddenly hit him that the phone signal was down earlier. Eddie took a quick glance at the screen and still saw the slashed zero.

The loud sliding of tires on dirt and gravel startled him—freezing him where he stood as the shock took over, preventing him from jumping out of the way of the oncoming vehicle. The car still slid but luckily came to a stop, within inches of striking him.

Eddie’s nerves unlocked, allowing him to breathe again.

With the headlights shining below his waist, he was able to see the visible BMW insignia on the hood of the car, and who was inside. Bandana was in the passenger seat, but there was something wrong with his eyes. He was clearly in pain as he was rubbing them with his hands while howling. The driver was one of his friends, the odd one of the group. He then saw Durag in the back seat, staring between both of them and straight at Eddie.

“Delroy, Laawd Jesus! How yuh slam pon de breaks so? Why nuh kill me?” yelled Bandana.

“It’s dat bloodclaat who shout at us,” said Durag. “Move out at de road, yuh damn idiat. Bumboclaat!”

The driver wasn’t among the two who attacked Shenice. At least, Eddie didn’t remember him being there. But the fear was all over his face. When his hand slammed on the horn, it startled Eddie enough that he jumped to the side.

Eddie raised his hands in surrender. “Yo, my bad.”

The accelerator was floored, causing the tires to spin wildly, gravel ricocheting out behind the car. As they passed, Eddie saw Durag point at him while imitating a gun. He then lowered his thumb to touch his index as though he was pulling the trigger. This was done slowly, and Eddie knew that Durag was making a point.

Eddie shielded his eyes with his forearm as a dust cloud emerged from under the spinning tires. The tiny pebbles became projectiles, stinging his arms and legs as the car cut left, causing it to fishtail. It then sped off and exited the parking lot. Once it hit the road, Eddie heard the screeching of tires and the accelerating roar of the engine.

Even though it was impossible to catch the license plate number, he already had two clues: the driver’s name was Delroy, and he drove a BMW—the only European car he saw in this lot so far.

“Ed.”

Eddie turned to see Corey running toward him.

“I was looking all over for you.” Corey slid to a stop, a bit out of breath. “Didn’t you get my text?”

It didn’t take long for his best friend to notice his injury. “Bruh, what happened to your head?” Corey reached out to touch the bruise.

Eddie moved his head to dodge his hand. “That’s nothing.”

“What happened to you?”

Eddie continued searching for Shenice. “I wish I knew.”

“What?” Corey put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder to get his attention. “Were you fighting? Who did this to you?”

“Shenice.”

Corey tilted his head. “Shenice did that to you?”

“No, she was being attacked,” Eddie answered. “It was those same guys we saw earlier.”

“They did this to you?”

Eddie began to wander off. “No, not them.”

Corey moved quickly to catch up to him. “You ain’t making any sense.”

“We have to find her.” Eddie picked up the pace—looking left and right. “I think they raped her.”

“You serious? Where?”

“Over there, I think.” Eddie pointed to the spot where he’d last seen her. “I saw Durag and Bandana dragging her, and I yelled at them. Then someone jumped me from behind. That’s when I fell and hit my head. I tried texting you, but the phone signal’s out.”

“I know,” said Corey. “When you didn’t reply, I texted you again, but it bounced back. So I came out here looking for you.”

An object on the ground caught Eddie’s attention. It was a shoe, more specifically a stiletto—and it looked like one that Shenice had been wearing. Eddie darted right for it and picked it up. The heel was broken and dangled from its attachment like a shoelace. He showed it to Corey, who raised his eyebrows.

Shenice could’ve been running for her life.

They both frantically searched, looking underneath the cars in anticipation that she was on the ground, all while yelling her name.

A loud, frightening scream came from the entrance to the parking lot. Eddie jumped to his feet, and his mouth dropped in a gasp. A human torch ran blindly in zigzags and circles with both arms flailing. The person fell but continued to kick and thrash on the ground, screaming as the bright flames seared through fabric to flesh.

Eddie rushed to the victim while pulling off his shirt, then swung it as hard and fast as he could to beat out the flames. He didn’t care that his hands were getting singed. This person’s life was at stake. Moments later, he noticed that Corey was doing the same. They yelled for help as they lashed the victim and furiously kicked dust and gravel from the ground to help smother the flames.

Eddie’s shirt caught fire, forcing him to throw it on the ground. He grabbed his phone ready to dial 110…or was it 119? He went with his gut and dialed 110 while kicking as much dust as he could onto the victim. Still, the call wouldn’t go through. This didn’t make sense. Emergency calls always worked, whether there was a phone signal or not.

But Eddie’s gut told him they were already too late. It was the first time that Eddie had smelled burning human flesh, and it brought on a brief wave of nausea. He still didn’t stop kicking gravel onto the victim even though the flames had died down.

“Hey, do you hear me?” Eddie yelled.

No reply.

“Please answer. Can you hear me? Please say something.”

“Ed,” said Corey.

“Come on,” Eddie’s voice died down. “Say something.”

Eddie felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Corey shaking his head.

“Help! Somebody help!” Gritting his teeth, he ran toward the bar. He continued yelling for help, but it was as though no one heard him.

Eddie turned and ran back. “Did they say anything?”

Corey sighed and shook his head.

Eddie dropped to his knees in front of the victim and noticed they were missing their shoes. He then saw what remained of the dress. No long hair with gold highlights, which was most likely a weave that had completely burned away. It was definitely Shenice.

“Fuck!” Corey yelled as he stomped on the ground.

Eddie often read about Jamaica’s high homicide rate. He just never imagined that he would witness one within the first ten hours of his arrival. He didn’t know what had suddenly come over him as he stared at the smoking, charred body. Was it fear, shock, or both?

It wasn’t long before one of the patrons noticed what had happened. It began with one, then quickly became a few. Word spread swiftly, and others began showing up. As expected, cell phones were up as the mob suddenly became the paparazzi. They practically smothered him, Corey, and Shenice.

“Who dead?”

“Who do it?”

“Move outta de way. Put it pon Facebook.”

The last comment pissed him the fuck off. Eddie jumped up and spun in the direction of the person who said it. “Who said they’re putting this on Facebook? Don’t you have any respect? Jesus!”

The crowd went silent for a moment, then they resumed what they were doing as though they hadn’t been interrupted.

Eddie turned to look back at Shenice’s body. Most of the burns were from the neck down.

There was enough light from the flashlights on the patrons’ cell phones that allowed Eddie to notice that Shenice had suffered a skull-fracturing blow to the side of her head—maybe from a rock or a bat. But something was still off, and he was reminded of the red flags that hit him earlier. Something about Shenice’s body caught Eddie’s attention. He took out his smartphone to activate the flashlight so that he could get a better look.

What Eddie saw made him tense up while stifling a gasp. He quickly pointed the flashlight away from the victim.

So that’s what was bothering me.

“Clear outta de way!” Eddie heard a few brothas yelling. He turned to see that the crowd was being physically dispersed by the bouncers. They made it through, grabbing Eddie and Corey, then shoving them back.

“Bumboclaat!” yelled one of them as he turned his head away in disgust.

Another pointed his finger toward Eddie and Corey. “A two a uno do it?”

“We were trying to save her,” Corey answered. “We even lost our shirts trying to beat out the flames.”

Eddie didn’t understand a word the bouncer said. But after Corey answered him, it was obvious that the bouncer asked: “You two did this?”

The same bouncer eyed them while shaking his head.

“If we did this, why would we hang around to get caught?” Eddie couldn’t believe that this idiot would have the gall to accuse them of killing Shenice.

The bouncer then sighed and pointed to a spot away from the crowd. “Stay ova deh so, and no botha move!”

Move over there, and don’t bother trying to leave! Eddie understood that part.

Both Eddie and Corey obeyed and went to where they were instructed.

“That’s some straight-up bullshit,” said Corey as they looked at the gathering. “Those guys not only raped her, but they killed her too. What kind of sick fucks do such a thing?”

Eddie shook his head. “I have my suspicions, but I don’t think they raped Shenice. And if it’s possible, a medical examiner will confirm that.”

Corey turned to Eddie and tilted his head. “I thought you said that those guys attacked her.”

“Yeah, before someone jumped me.” Eddie turned to his friend. “I don’t know what happened while I was knocked out or how long I was out for.”

It was then that Eddie saw two of the bouncers talking into their mobile phones. He checked his own and saw that the signal was back.

“It’s good that we’re over here because I don’t want anyone to overhear us.”

“Overhear what?” asked Corey. “That you don’t think Shenice was raped?”

Eddie shook his head as he continued watching the crowd. “Whoever that person is, their real name isn’t Shenice.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I got a good look at the body before the bouncer shoved us away. I think this may be a hate crime.” Eddie then turned to Corey while he thumbed in the direction of the deceased. “Shenice is a brotha.”

Excerpt from Jam Run by Russell Brooks.
Copyright © 2023 by Russell Brooks.
Published with permission. All rights reserved.

Meet the Author

Russell Brooks author photo: head shot photo of a young Black man wearing glasses and a white shirt, with long, brown, locked hair, and blurred greenery in the backgroundRussell Brooks is an Amazon bestselling author of several thrillers—Pandora’s Succession, Unsavory Delicacies, Chill Run, and The Demeter Code. If you enjoy heart-pounding thrillers with conspiracies, martial arts, sex, betrayal, and revenge, then you don’t need to look any further and see why these are among the best mystery thriller books of all time.

Connect with the author via: Facebook | Goodreads | Instagram | Twitter | Website

Giveaway

This is a giveaway for one (1) signed print copy of Jam Run by Russell Brooks via Author Marketing Experts. This giveaway is open to residents of the United States and Canada only. All entries by non-US/Canadian residents will be voided. To enter use the Rafflecopter link below or click here.

This giveaway begins at 12:01 AM ET on 04/19/2023 and ends at 11:59 PM ET on 04/26/2023. The winner will be announced by 10:00 AM ET on 04/27/2023. Void where prohibited.

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Book Showcase: THE LAST LAP by Christy Hayes

THE LAST LAP by Christy Hayes book cover: illustrated cover featuring a woman in a bikini on a red beach towel on a beach with a man swimming in the oceanThe Last Lap by Christy Hayes
ISBN: 9781625720283 (Paperback)
ISBN: 9781625720276 (eBook)
ASIN: B0BTTQDRDL (Kindle edition)
Page Count: 341
Release Date: March 7, 2023
Genre: Fiction | Romance | Mystery

A man seeking closure after the death of his estranged brother. A woman grieving her sister and best friend. A connection they never saw coming. More than the temperature heats up in USA Today Bestselling Author Christy Hayes’ unforgettable page-turning romance about two tortured souls and their collision course with love.

Megan Holloway has learned a few hard truths in her twenty-eight years. Life isn’t fair. People she loves always leave. And she’ll be stuck on Key West running her parents’ gift store and raising her twelve-year-old niece for the rest of her life.

Thirty-year-old Bryan Westfall has come to Key West to clean out his dead brother’s apartment and search for answers about the woman who died with his estranged older brother. Bryan didn’t know the woman had a daughter and he sure didn’t expect her sister to floor him with her beauty and biting brashness.

Bryan’s persistent need to help and Meg’s bumbling business skills create an unlikely union. The more time they spend together, the more their feelings become too powerful to deny. Meg knows Bryan is leaving at the end of the summer and Bryan knows Meg is holding back to spare herself needless heartache. When a hurricane forces them to evacuate, Meg mentally prepares to let Bryan go while Bryan wonders if home is where he came from or is with the woman who stole his heart.

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Read an Excerpt:

He inched the door open a crack and his heart jammed into his throat. Instead of a beefy henchman, a willowy redhead stood fuming on his doorstep. He swung the door open wide and gawked at Amanda Holloway’s sister, tapping her sandaled foot on the mat.

“Stay away from us.” Her velvet voice quivered with rage. “Do you understand me?”

“Uh …” Bryan couldn’t organize his thoughts into anything resembling words. Seeing her in the store had been like a punch to the gut. Standing inches away on his doorstep where he could count the freckles across her nose and smell the perfume on her skin left him senseless. The woman didn’t need a baseball bat. She wielded a punch with her presence.

“You’ve got nothing to say?”

He extended his hand. “I’m Bryan Westfall. It’s nice to officially meet you.”

“Nice?” She gave his hand a death stare and her tone pitched higher. “You think this is a social call?”

Bryan dropped his hand. “I don’t have a clue what this is.”

“This is a warning.” She aimed a finger in his face. “Do not come near me, my niece, or our store, ever again. I don’t know what you’re doing here, but you’re not going to weasel your way into our lives like your brother did. He did enough damage, thank you very much.”

Whatever evidence Bryan had been searching for landed squarely at his feet with her threat. Corey’s presence in this woman’s life had changed it for the worse. “Listen …”

“Meg.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Meg.”

His simple statement and quiet tone stopped her cold. She straightened her stance and folded her arms across her V-necked white t-shirt, an apostrophe forming between her brows. “What do you want from us? Why are you here?”

Bryan stepped back. “Why don’t you come in and I’ll explain.”

The crevice between her brows deepened and she shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

Of course she didn’t trust him. He was a stranger. His brother had slithered into her sister’s life and torn it to shreds. Meg was the living, breathing, reminder of what happened when people let Corey and his devil-may-care outlook into their orbit. “I’m cleaning out Corey’s apartment. Trying to piece together his last few months.”

“You’re his brother.” It wasn’t so much a statement as an accusation.

“You and your sister were close?”

The sadness in her eyes said as much as her choked agreement. Grief sat just below the surface. One tiny shift was all it took to uncover her pain. “Very close.”

“Corey and I …” How could he explain their complicated relationship? He couldn’t, not without a history lesson she didn’t care to hear. “We had a falling out.”

She snorted. “Of course you did.” She stared past him into the apartment filled with boxes labeled for charity. “That must make this pretty easy for you, huh? Boxing up his stuff, giving it away as if he never existed. You’re probably relieved he’s gone. No more fighting, no more messy feelings about your flesh and blood.”

Shame heated the skin of his neck, giving his voice a dangerous edge. “Nothing about this is easy.”

“My sister and I lived and worked together.” She raised her chin in the air, determined to drive her point home. “We raised her daughter together. Nothing about losing her was easy on any of us. I’m sorry for your loss, Bryan, but you can look for answers elsewhere. We’ve been through enough. The last thing we need is another slick-talking Westfall poking around where he doesn’t belong.”

Would she feel better or worse to know they shared the same impression of Corey? He decided not to find out. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to trouble you.”

“It’s too late for that. Just hear me loud and clear—leave us alone. Pack your stuff and go back where you came from. Whatever Corey was up to before he died doesn’t change the outcome. He’s dead and he dragged Amanda down with him. If you care at all about those of us left behind, you’ll go and never come back.”

She turned to leave, and a panicked surge of impatience had him stepping toward her, had him saying something he should have thought through. “I know you feel—”

She turned back so quickly her hair tangled in her teeth. She pulled the strands free and speared him with an angry scowl. “You don’t have a clue how I feel.”

He didn’t, not really, but neither did she. “I lost my brother, too.”

She closed her mouth and stared at him, the heat coloring her cheeks dimmed.

“Maybe we weren’t close. Maybe I couldn’t have changed the outcome, but you’re not the only one grieving. He may be the villain, but he was my brother. He was a man—a flawed man—with a family who cared. I’m not here to get you all worked up, but I need answers. My family needs answers.”

She watched him with wary, grass-green eyes. “Your answers don’t involve us.”

“Your sister knew him better than anyone.”

She shook her head and the red strands caught fire in the sunlight. “That’s not saying a lot.”

He had no other option but to beg. “Please, Meg. I don’t know where else to turn.”

She stared at him, grasping the strap of the leather bag slung over her shoulder in a chokehold. “Then I guess you’re out of luck.” She pivoted and strode away, eating up ground with her long, slender legs.

Bryan watched the sway of her miniskirt as she stormed off, then closed the door and turned to face Corey’s apartment. He rubbed the ache in his gut. He may have needed answers, but finding them just got a whole lot harder.

Excerpt from The Last Lap by Christy Hayes.
Copyright © 2023 by Christy Hayes.
Published with permission. All rights reserved.

Meet the Author

Author Christy Hayes Avatar (white female with shoulder-length brown hair)Christy Hayes is a USA Today Bestselling author. She grew up along the eastern seaboard and received two degrees from the University of Georgia. An avid reader, she writes romance and women’s fiction. Christy and her husband have two grown children and live with a houseful of dogs in the foothills of north Georgia.

Connect with the author via: Facebook | Goodreads | Instagram | Twitter | Website

Giveaway

This is a giveaway for one (1) signed print copy of The Last Lap by Christy Hayes + a bookmark, courtesy of Christy Hayes via Author Marketing Experts. This giveaway is open to residents of the United States only. All entries by non-US residents will be voided. To enter use the Rafflecopter link below or click here.

This giveaway begins at 12:01 AM ET on 04/11/2023 and ends at 11:59 PM ET on 04/17/2023. The winner will be announced by 10:00 AM ET on 04/18/2023. Void where prohibited.

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Book Showcase: THE ALGORITHM WILL SEE YOU NOW by JL Lycette

THE ALGORITHM WILL SEE YOU NOW by J.L. Lycette book cover featuring a bluish-gray background with a light-colored image of a DNA strand and random floating numbers and a partial view of a women's face on the right side of the book cover

The Algorithm Will See You Now by JL Lycette
ISBN: 9781685131494 (Paperback)
ASIN: B0BLD16W7T (Kindle edition)
Page Count: 273 (print) | 303 (digital)
Release Date: March 2, 2023
Publisher: Black Rose Writing
Genre: Fiction | Science Fiction

The most dangerous lies are the ones that use the truth to sell themselves.

Medical treatment determined by artificial intelligence could do more than make Hope Kestrel’s career. It could revolutionize healthcare.

What the Seattle surgeon doesn’t know is the AI has a hidden fatal flaw, and the people covering it up will stop at nothing to dominate the world’s healthcare — and its profits. Soon, Hope is made the scapegoat for a patient’s death, and only Jacie Stone, a gifted intern with a knack for computer science, is willing to help search for the truth.

But her patient’s death is only the tip of the conspiracy’s iceberg. The Director, Marah Maddox, is plotting a use for the AI far outside the ethical bounds of her physician’s oath. A staggering plan capable of reducing human lives to their DNA code, redefining the concepts of sickness and health, and delivering the power of life and death decisions into the hands of those behind the AI.

Even if the algorithm accidentally discards some who are treatable in order to make that happen…

Purchase Links #CommissionEarned: Bookshop.org | Amazon | Amazon Kindle | Barnes and Noble

Advance Praise:

“I’ve been waiting for a book like this: a full-frontal assault on the dangers of artificial intelligence and the failures of our mangled health care system, all wrapped up in a clever, ripping thriller. Jennifer Lycette is an author to watch.” — Rob Hart, author of The Paradox Hotel

“In her debut, Lycette explores the darkest realities about the healthcare system and what generations of the near future could potentially face if power shifts to the wrong hands. Perhaps even more gripping is how she delves into the ways grief can shape someone, causing them to make questionable decisions in the name of redemption. With nuanced characters and a truly terrifying premise, The Algorithm Will See You Now is an ambitious debut that delivers.” — Heather Levy, author of Anthony-nominated Walking Through Needles

“Both tense and topical, The Algorithm Will See You Now is a meticulously researched and deeply informed novel about the perils of where healthcare is likely heading, and the agonizing human costs involved. There are no easy decisions here, and Lycette paints a wonderfully complex portrait in an exciting debut.” — E.A. Aymar, author of No Home For Killers

“Full of intrigue and smart thrills, The Algorithm Will See You Now is an incisive vision of a tech-driven future, amping up the contemporary horrors of our healthcare system to the extreme. Lycette’s mastery of the medical field shines through, and her empathetic storytelling invites us to examine where we are headed and how we treat each other as human beings.” — Victor Manibo, author of The Sleepless

“An AI is putting profit over life. And patients are dying. The Algorithm Will See You Now is a tense, terrifying ride that dives into prescient themes of power, control, and the corruption of Big Medicine. Here’s your wake up call. This disturbing future is closer than you think.” — L.P. Styles, author of The Molecule Thief

“Get ready to be enthralled! Dr. Lycette poignantly lays out the future of healthcare with impeccable lucidity when AI becomes the center stage of medicine. While AI is promised to improve operational efficiencies, streamline tasks and cut down human error, it comes with its own challenges like overlooking personal preferences, fears and economic restraints for patients. A brilliant book with vivid characterizations!” — Rajeev Kurapati MD, MBA, award-winning author of Physician: How Science Transformed the Art of Medicine

“Bringing the reality of the imminent threat to the healthcare system and the patient sovereignty disheartenment to life… the epitome of patient care sceneries at the end of the slippery slope towards which we are headed.” — Dr. Adam Ray Tabriz, MD Medium Author, Physicians Are Working Like Robots for Robots

Book Excerpt:

Jacie shoved her glasses up her nose. “For those not selected, when PRIMA gives its report, or whatever… and if it says the treatment won’t work, how do you tell the patient?”

“We don’t.” Hope paused. “That’s the nurse’s job, of course.”

Cecilia gave her a reproachful glance.

Hope backpedaled. “I mean, PRIMA has proven that training the nurses in the triage and delivery of test results allows the physicians to be more efficient. Physicians only meet the patients who’ve been properly identified as responders. Patrons, I guess we’re calling them now. That allows us to focus all of our medical skills on the people we can truly help. PRIMA trains the nurses to inform those we can’t help.” She tilted her head at Jacie. “You should understand this.”

“Oh, I understand.” Jacie’s voice was soft, but her jaw remained set. “So PRIMA doesn’t have to pay for the cost of their care, you mean.”

Hope couldn’t believe her ears. “What? That’s not the driving force. Not at all.”

Jacie shrugged a shoulder. “Don’t you worry even a little about their motivations? To make a profit?”

Hope’s head went hot, and she spoke in a carefully controlled voice. “Doctors gave my mom chemo—before they had the tech to know she’d be a non-responder. Do you know what happened? All she did was suffer. That’s the driving force. PRIMA helps us prevent unnecessary suffering.”

Jacie didn’t meet her eyes. “I guess—”

“No, there’s no guessing about it. That’s the entire point of what we’re doing here.”

Cecilia cleared her throat, and Hope dialed back down her voice. “Besides, if someone doesn’t want treatment at PRIMA, they can go elsewhere.”

Jacie raised her eyebrows. “Do you really think that? Do you know how hard it is for the uninsured?”

“They have the market exchanges.”

Jacie mumbled something that sounded like, “Yeah, right.”

Hope looked at Cecilia to interject, but her mentor was studying Jacie, a curious expression on her face. Hope shook her head in frustration.

“The reality is someone has to pay for healthcare. You don’t know what it’s like, outside of PRIMA.” Hope thought back to her first year of residency before she’d transferred to PRIMA. “All those prior authorizations and denials. The insurance companies impede doctors at every step. But here, the algorithm guides our treatment decisions. PRIMA’s going to improve the system for everyone.”

“But…” Jacie trailed off.

Hope raised her hands in frustration. “But what?”

Then she recalled Jacie’s words on the unit yesterday—my sister. Hope was truly sorry if Jacie had lost a sister, but Jacie didn’t understand the suffering doctors caused by treating non-responders.

An unbidden image flashed through her mind of the first time she had seen her mom’s bald head—the unexpected smallness. She’d wanted to cup her hands around it and feel the fascinating smooth beauty of it, but she’d been afraid, her mom’s head so fragile, and her eyes so large without her hair to frame her face. So instead, she’d shoved her hands in her pockets and stared at the floor.

Hope forced those thoughts back into the compartment where they belonged. Jacie was making this unnecessarily difficult. All they had to do was perfect their medical skill-sets, and the algorithm would guide them. Yesterday had been an exception. That’s all.

But another part of her mind whispered that she had administered treatments to a non-responder without knowing it. The algorithm had caused her to do what she most dreaded—the thing it was supposed to protect her from.

Maddox’s voice echoed in Hope’s head. The AI doesn’t make mistakes. People are a different story.

Had it somehow been Hope’s fault?

“I almost forgot.” Cecilia interrupted her thoughts, holding out an envelope. “This came for you. I meant to give it to you at our last Saturday breakfast.”

Hope took the letter, palms damp with sweat, her dad’s handwriting visible on the outside. He’d long ago figured out mail had a better chance to get to her here, where Cecilia periodically rounded it up for her, than at her apartment.

It was the last thing she needed right now, and she shoved the letter into her bag without opening it. Cecilia was right. The best thing Hope could do was rededicate herself to her purpose.

An alert popped up on her tablet, drawing her attention, and she forgot all about the letter. She sucked in a sharp breath, not believing her eyes.

Her ranking.

It had dropped, and she no longer held the top position. It now belonged to Leach. But the only person who could dock points was…

Maddox.

It wasn’t fair. The non-responder had been nothing under her control. She wanted to say something to Cecilia—to explain the unsettling interaction with Maddox.

The post-residency position. It should belong to you. I see it in you.

“Hope, if you could stick around, there’s something else I need to talk to you about—”

Cecilia broke off as, behind Hope, a change in air pressure rustled the papers on the floor, signaling the door opening.

Hope rotated halfway in her chair and froze.

Silver hair. A sweater, red as arterial blood. Maddox strode through the doorway, her gaze sweeping the room as if she owned the place.

Jacie said something, but Hope didn’t hear it over the rushing in her ears.

Maddox brushed past them both to get to Cecilia. A hint of her perfume assaulted Hope’s nose. That sharp scent again.

Cecilia rose to her feet, her face pale. “Never mind, we’ll have to talk later, Hope. I have another meeting.”

Excerpt from The Algorithm Will See You Now by J.L. Lycette.
Copyright © 2023 by J.L. Lycette.
Published with permission. All rights reserved.

Giveaway:

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This giveaway begins at 12:01 AM ET on 04/08/2023 and ends at 11:59 PM ET on 04/14/2023. The winner will be announced by 10:00 AM ET on 04/15/2023. Void where prohibited.

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Meet the Author

Author JL Lycette Photo: headshot of a red-haired smiling female standing in front of a wooded backgroundJennifer / JL Lycette is a novelist, award-winning essayist, rural physician, wife, and mother. She has a degree in biochemistry from the University of San Francisco and attained her medical degree at the University of Washington. Mid-career, she discovered narrative medicine in her path back from physician burnout and has been writing ever since. Her essays can be found in Intima, NEJM, JAMA, and other journals; at Doximity and Medscape; and her website https://jenniferlycette.com. She is an alumna of the 2019 Pitch Wars Mentoring program. Her other published speculative fiction can be found in the anthology And If That Mockingbird Don’t Sing: Parenting Stories Gone Speculative (Alternating Current Press). The Algorithm Will See You Now (Black Rose Writing Press) is her first novel.

Connect with the author: Facebook | Goodreads | LinkedIn | Twitter | Website

This book showcase and excerpt are brought to you by WOW! Women On Writing 

 

Book Showcase: THE VANISHING AT CASTLE MOREAU by Jaime Jo Wright

The Vanishing at Castle Moreau

by Jaime Jo Wright

April 3-28, 2023 Virtual Book Tour

Synopsis:

The Vanishing at Castle Moreau by Jaime Jo Wright

A haunting legend. An ominous curse. A search for a secret buried deep within the castle walls.

In 1870, orphaned Daisy François takes a position as housemaid at a Wisconsin castle to escape the horrors of her past life. There she finds a reclusive and eccentric Gothic authoress, who hides tales more harrowing than the ones in her novels. With women disappearing from the area and a legend that seems to parallel these eerie circumstances, Daisy is thrust into a web that threatens to steal her sanity, if not her life.

In the present day, Cleo Clemmons is hired by the grandson of an American aristocratic family to help his grandmother face her hoarding in the dilapidated Castle Moreau. But when Cleo uncovers more than just the woman’s stash of collectibles, a century-old mystery of disappearance, insanity, and the dust of the old castle’s curse threaten to rise again. This time to leave no one alive to tell the sordid tale.

Award-winning author Jaime Jo Wright seamlessly weaves a dual-time tale of two women who must do all they can to seek the light amidst the darkness shrouding Castle Moreau.

Book Details:

Genre: Dual-time Suspense/Thriller
Published by: Bethany House Publishers
Publication Date: April 2023
Number of Pages: 384
ISBN: 9780764238345
Book Links: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | BookShop.org | Goodreads | Baker Book House

Praise for The Vanishing at Castle Moreau:

“An imaginative and mysterious tale.”

New York Times bestselling author RACHEL HAUCK

 

“With real, flawed characters, who grapple with real-life struggles, readers will be drawn into this gripping suspense from the very first page. Good luck putting it down. I couldn’t.”

LYNETTE EASON, bestselling, award-winning author of the Extreme Measures series

 

“Wright pens another delightfully creepy tale where nothing is quite as it seems and characters seek freedom from nightmares both real and imagined.”

Library Journal

 

“Wright captivates. A thrilling tale. . . . Readers won’t want to put this down.”

Publishers Weekly

The Vanishing at Castle Moreau Trailer:

Read an excerpt:

The one who rescues,
who loves,
and who stands in the gap.
God knew I needed you.

The Girl

MAY 8, 1801

When I was a little girl, my father would often come to my bedside after my screams wakened him in the night. He would smooth back my damp ringlets, the mere feel of his callused and strong hand inspiring an instantaneous calm.

“What is it, little one?” he would ask me.

Every night, the same question. Every night, I would give the same answer.

“It is her again, Papa.”

“Her?” He would tilt his head, giving credence to my words and refraining from scolding or mockery.

“Yes.” I would nod, my head brushing the clean cotton of my pillowcase. “The woman with the crooked hand.”

“Crooked hand, hmm?” His query only increased my adamant insistence.

“Yes. She has a nub with two fingers.” A tear would often trail down my six-­year-­old cheek.

My father would smile with a soothing calm. “You are dreaming again, mon chéri.”

“No. She was here.” He must believe me!

“Shhh.” Another gentle stroke of his hand across my forehead. “She is the voice of the mistress of your dreams. We all have one, you know. Only yours needs extra-special care because she isn’t beautiful like the rest. She is the one who brings the nightmares, but she doesn’t mean to harm you. She is only doing her best with what she has been given, and what she has been given are her own horrors.”

“Her hand?” I would reply, even though we repeated this explanation many nights in a row.

“Yes,” my father would nod. “Her hand is a reflection of the ugliness in her stories. Stories she tells to you at night when all is quiet and your eyes are closed.”

“But they were open,” I would insist.

“No. You only think they were open.”

“I am afraid of the ghost, Papa,” I urge.

His eyes smile. “Oui. And yet there are no spirits to haunt you. Only the dream mistress. Shoo her away and she will flee. She is a mist. She is not real. See?” And he would wave his hand in the air. “Shoo, mistress. Away and be gone!”

We would survey the dark bedroom then, and, seeing nothing, my father would lean over and press his lips to my cheek. “Now sleep. I will send your mother’s dream mistress to you. Her imaginings are pleasant ones.”

“Thank you,” I would whisper.

Another kiss. The bed would rise a bit as he lifted his weight from the mattress. His nightshirt would hang around his shins, and he would pause at the doorway of my room where I slept. An only child, in a home filled with the fineries of a Frenchman’s success of trade. “Sleep, mon chéri.”

“Yes, Papa.”

The door would close.

My eyes would stay open.

I would stare at the woman with the crooked hand, who hovered in the shadows where the door had just closed. I would stare at her and know what my father never would.

She existed.

She was not a dream.

one

Daisy François
APRIL 1870

The castle cast its hypnotic pull over any passerby who happened along to find it, tucked deep in the woods in a place where no one would build a castle, let alone live in one. It served no purpose there. No strategy of war, no boast of wealth, no respite for a tired soul. Instead, it simply existed. Tugging. Coercing. Entrapping. Its two turrets mimicked bookends, and if removed, one would fear the entire castle would collapse like a row of standing volumes. Windows covered the façade above a stone archway, which drew her eyes to the heavy wooden door with its iron hinges, the bushes along the foundation, and the stone steps leading to the mouth of the edifice. Beyond it was a small orchard of apple trees, their tiny pink blossoms serving as a delicate backdrop for the magnificent property.

Castle Moreau.

Home to an orphan. Or it would be.

Daisy clutched the handles of her carpetbag until her knuckles were sure to be white beneath her threadbare gloves. She stood in the castle’s shadow, staring at its immense size. Who had built such an imposing thing? Here, in the northern territory, where America boasted its own mansions but still rejected any mimicking of the old country. Castles were supposed to stare over their fiefdoms, house lords and ladies, gentry, noblemen, and summon the days of yore when knights rescued fair maidens. Castles were not supposed to center themselves inside a forest, on the shore of a lake, a mile from the nearest town.

This made Castle Moreau a mystery. No one knew why Tobias Moreau had built it decades before. Today the castle held but one occupant: Tobias’s daughter, Ora Moreau, who was eighty-­six years old. She was rarely ever seen, and even more rarely, ever heard from. Still, Ora’s words had graced most households in the region, printed between the covers of books with embossed golden titles. Her horror stories had thrilled many readers, and over the years, the books helped in making an enigma of the reclusive old woman.

When the newspaper had advertised a need for a housemaid—­preferably one without a home or ties to distract her from her duties—­it was sheer coincidence that Daisy had seen it, even more of a coincidence that she fit the requirements. And so it was a surprise she was hired after only a brief letter inquiring after the position.

Now she stood before the castle, her pulse thrumming with the question why? Why had she accepted the position? Why would she allow herself to be swallowed up by this castle? The stories were bold, active. Women disappeared here. It was said that Castle Moreau was a place that consumed the vulnerable. Welcoming them in but never giving them back.

Daisy stiffened her shoulders. Swallowed. Tilted her chin upward in determination. She had marched into hell before—­many times, in fact. Castle Moreau couldn’t possibly be much worse than that.

Cleo Clemmons
TWO YEARS BEFORE PRESENT DAY

They had buried most souvenirs of the dead with the traditions of old, and yet what a person didn’t understand before death, they would certainly comprehend after. The need for that ribbon-­tied lock of hair, the memento mori photograph of the deceased, a bone fragment, a capsule of the loved one’s ashes—­morbid to those who had not lost, but understandable to those who had.

Needing to touch the tangible was a fatal flaw in humanity. Faith comforted only so far until the gasping panic overcame the grieving like a tsunami, stealing oxygen, with the only cure being something tangible. Something to touch. To hold. To be held. It was in these times the symbolism attached to an item became pivotal to the grieving. A lifeline of sorts.

For Cleo, it was a thumbprint. Her grandfather’s thumbprint. Inked after death, digitized into a .png file, uploaded to a jewelry maker, and etched into sterling silver. It hung around her neck, settling between her breasts, just left of her heart. No one would know it was there, and if they did, they wouldn’t ask. A person didn’t ask about what was held closest to another’s heart. That was information that must be offered, and Cleo had no intention of doing so. To anyone. Her grandfather was her memory alone—­the good and the bad. What he’d left behind in the form of Cleo’s broken insides were Cleo’s to disguise. Faith held her hand, or rather, she clenched hands with faith, but in the darkness, when no one was watching, Cleo fit her thumb to her grandfather’s print and attempted to feel the actual warmth of his hand, to infuse all the cracks and offer momentary refuge from the ache.

Funny how this was what she thought of. Now. With what was left of her world crashing down around her like shrapnel pieces, blazing lava-­orange and deadly.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” Cleo muttered into her phone, pressing it harder against her ear than she needed to. She huddled in the driver’s seat of her small car, all of her worldly possessions packed into the trunk and the back seat. She could hear the ringing on the other end. She owed it to Riley. One call. One last goodbye.

“Hey.”

“Riley!” Cleo stiffened in anticipation.

“. . . you’ve reached Riley . . .” the voice message continued, and Cleo laid her head back against the seat. The recording finished, and Cleo squeezed her eyes shut against the world outside of her car, against the darkness, the fear, the grief. This was goodbye. It had to be.

The voicemail beep was Cleo’s cue. She swallowed, then spoke, her words shivering with compressed emotion. What did a person say in a last farewell?

“Riley, it’s me. Cleo. I—” she bit her lip, tasting blood—”I-­I won’t be calling again. This is it. You know. It’s what I hoped would never happen. I am so, so sorry this happened to you! Just know I tried to protect you. But now—” her breath caught as tears clogged her throat—”this is the only way I can. Whatever happens now, just know I love you. I will always love you.” Desperation warred with practicality.

Shut off the phone.

There was no explaining this.

There never would be.

“Goodbye, Ladybug.” Cleo thumbed the end button, then threw the phone against the car’s dashboard. A guttural scream curled up her throat and split her ears as the inside of the vehicle absorbed the sound.

Then it was silent.

That dreadful, agonizing silence that came with the burgeoning, unknown abyss of a new start. Cleo stared at her phone lying on the passenger-­side floor. She lunged for it, fumbling with a tiny tool until she popped open the slot on its side. Pulling out the SIM card, Cleo bent it back and forth until it snapped. Determined, she pushed open the car door and stepped out.

The road was heavily wooded on both sides. Nature was her only observer.

She flung the broken SIM card into the ditch, marched to the front of the car, and wedged the phone under the front tire. She’d roll over it when she left, crush it, and leave nothing to be traced.

Cleo took a moment to look around her. Oak forest, heavy undergrowth of brush, wild rosebushes whose thorns would take your skin off, and a heap of dead trees and branches from the tornado that had ravaged these woods decades prior. The rotting wood was all that remained to tell the tale now, but it was so like her life. Rotting pieces that never went away. Ever.

She climbed back into the car and twisted the key, revving the engine to life. Cleo felt her grandfather’s thumbprint until it turned her skin hot with the memories. Memories of what had set into motion a series of frightful events. Events that were her responsibility to protect her sister from.

Goodbye, Ladybug.

There was no explaining in a voicemail to a twelve-­year-­old girl that her older sister was abandoning her in order to save her. Cleo knew from this moment on, Riley would play that message, and slowly resentment would seep in as she grew older. Resentment that Cleo had left and would never come back.

But she couldn’t go back. Not if she loved Riley. Sometimes love required the ultimate sacrifice. Sometimes love required death. Death to all they knew, all they had known. If Cleo disappeared, then Riley would be left alone. Riley would be safe. She could grow up as innocent as possible.

So long as Cleo Clemmons no longer existed.

***

Excerpt from The Vanishing at Castle Moreau by JAIME JO WRIGHT. Copyright 2023 by Jaime Sundsmo. Reproduced with permission from Bethany House Publishers. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—­for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—­without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Author Bio:

Jaime Jo Wright

Jaime Jo Wright is the author of six novels, including Christy Award winner The House on Foster Hill and Carol Award winner The Reckoning at Gossamer Pond. She’s also the Publishers Weekly and ECPA bestselling author of two novellas. Jaime lives in Wisconsin with her cat named Foo; her husband, Cap’n Hook; and their littles, Peter Pan and CoCo.

To learn more, visit Jamie at:
www.jaimewrightbooks.com (& check out her Podcast – MadLit Musings!)
Goodreads
BookBub – @JaimeJoWright
Instagram – @JaimeJoWright
Twitter – @JaimeJoWright
Facebook – @JaimeJoWright

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Book Showcase: THE PERFUMIST OF PARIS by Alka Joshi

THE PERFUMIST OF PARIS by Alka Joshi book cover: pink-washed depiction of the back view of an East Indian woman wearing a blue sari, walking through an archway towards the Eiffel TowerThe Perfumist of Paris, The Jaipur Trilogy #3, by Alka Joshi
ISBN: 9780778386148 (Hardcover)
ISBN: 9780369718495 (eBook)
ISBN: 9781488218057 (Audiobook)
ASIN: B0B623PM6Y (Audible audiobook)
ASIN: B09ZPPPSGV (Kindle edition)
Page Count: 384
Release Date: March 28, 2023
Publisher: MIRA Books
Genre: Fiction | Historical Fiction | Own Voices

“A stunning portrait of a woman blossoming into her full power…this is Alka Joshi’s best book yet!” —Kate Quinn, New York Times bestselling author of The Diamond Eye

From the author of Reese’s Book Club Pick The Henna Artist, the final chapter in Alka Joshi’s New York Times bestselling Jaipur trilogy takes readers to 1970s Paris, where Radha’s budding career as a perfumer must compete with the demands of her family and the secrets of her past.

Paris, 1974. Radha is now living in Paris with her husband, Pierre, and their two daughters. She still grieves for the baby boy she gave up years ago, when she was only a child herself, but she loves being a mother to her daughters, and she’s finally found her passion—the treasure trove of scents.

She has an exciting and challenging position working for a master perfumer, helping to design completely new fragrances for clients and building her career one scent at a time. She only wishes Pierre could understand her need to work. She feels his frustration, but she can’t give up this thing that drives her.

Tasked with her first major project, Radha travels to India, where she enlists the help of her sister, Lakshmi, and the courtesans of Agra—women who use the power of fragrance to seduce, tease and entice. She’s on the cusp of a breakthrough when she finds out the son she never told her husband about is heading to Paris to find her—upending her carefully managed world and threatening to destroy a vulnerable marriage.

The Jaipur Trilogy

Book 1: The Henna Artist
Book 2: The Secret Keeper of Jaipur
Book 3: The Perfumist of Paris

Book Excerpt:

Paris
September 2, 1974

I pick up on the first ring; I know it’s going to be her. She always calls on his birthday. Not to remind me of the day he came into this world but to let me know I’m not alone in my remembrance.

“Jiji?” I keep my voice low. I don’t want to wake Pierre and the girls.

“Kaisa ho, choti behen?” my sister says. I hear the smile in her voice, and I respond with my own. It’s lovely to hear Lakshmi’s gentle Hindi here in my Paris apartment four thousand miles away. I’d always called her Jiji—big sister—but she hadn’t always called me choti behen. It was Malik who addressed me as little sister when I first met him in Jaipur eighteen years ago, and he wasn’t even related to Jiji and me by blood. He was simply her apprentice. My sister started calling me choti behen later, after everything in Jaipur turned topsy-turvy, forcing us to make a new home in Shimla.

Today, my sister will talk about everything except the reason she’s calling. It’s the only way she’s found to make sure I get out of bed on this particular date, to prevent me from spiraling into darkness every year on the second of September, the day my son, Niki, was born.

She started the tradition the first year I was separated from him, in 1957. I was just fourteen. Jiji arrived at my boarding school with a picnic, having arranged for the headmistress to excuse me from classes. We had recently moved from Jaipur to Shimla, and I was still getting used to our new home. I think Malik was the only one of us who adjusted easily to the cooler temperatures and thinner air of the Himalayan mountains, but I saw less of him now that he was busy with activities at his own school, Bishop Cotton.

I was in history class when Jiji appeared at the door and beckoned me with a smile. As I stepped outside the room, she said, “It’s such a beautiful day, Radha. Shall we take a hike?” I looked down at my wool blazer and skirt, my stiff patent leather shoes, and wondered what had gotten into her. She laughed and told me I could change into the clothes I wore for nature camp, the one our athletics teacher scheduled every month. I’d woken with a heaviness in my chest, and I wanted to say no, but one look at her eager face told me I couldn’t deny her. She’d cooked my favorite foods for the picnic. Makki ki roti dripping with ghee. Palak paneer so creamy I always had to take a second helping. Vegetable korma. And chole, the garbanzo bean curry with plenty of fresh cilantro.

That day, we hiked Jakhu Hill. I told her how I hated math but loved my sweet old teacher. How my roommate, Mathilde, whistled in her sleep. Jiji told me that Madho Singh, Malik’s talking parakeet, was starting to learn Punjabi words. She’d begun taking him to the Community Clinic to amuse the patients while they waited to be seen by her and Dr. Jay. “The hill people have been teaching him the words they use to herd their sheep, and he’s using those same words now to corral patients in the waiting area!” She laughed, and it made me feel lighter. I’ve always loved her laugh; it’s like the temple bells that worshippers ring to receive blessings from Bhagwan.

When we reached the temple at the top of the trail, we stopped to eat and watched the monkeys frolicking in the trees. A few of the bolder macaques eyed our lunch from just a few feet away. As I started to tell her a story about the Shakespeare play we were rehearsing after school, I stopped abruptly, remembering the plays Ravi and I used to rehearse together, the prelude to our lovemaking. When I froze, she knew it was time to steer the conversation into less dangerous territory, and she smoothly transitioned to how many times she’d beat Dr. Jay at backgammon.

“I let Jay think he’s winning until he realizes he isn’t,” Lakshmi grinned.

I liked Dr. Kumar (Dr. Jay to Malik and me), the doctor who looked after me when I was pregnant with Niki—here in Shimla. I’d been the first to notice that he couldn’t take his eyes off Lakshmi, but she’d dismissed it; she merely considered the two of them to be good friends. And here he and my sister have been married now for ten years! He’s been good for her—better than her ex-husband was. He taught her to ride horses. In the beginning, she was scared to be high off the ground (secretly, I think she was afraid of losing control), but now she can’t imagine her life without her favorite gelding, Chandra.

So lost am I in memories of the sharp scents of Shimla’s pines, the fresh hay Chandra enjoys, the fragrance of lime aftershave and antiseptic coming off Dr. Jay’s coat, that I don’t hear Lakshmi’s question. She asks again. My sister knows how to exercise infinite patience—she had to do it often enough with those society ladies in Jaipur whose bodies she spent hours decorating with henna paste.

I look at the clock on my living room wall. “Well, in another hour, I’ll get the girls up and make their breakfast.” I move to the balcony windows to draw back the drapes. It’s overcast today, but a little warmer than yesterday. Down below, a moped winds its way among parked cars on our street. An older gentleman, keys jingling in his palm, unlocks his shop door a few feet from the entrance to our apartment building. “The girls and I may walk a ways before we get on the Métro.”

“Won’t the nanny be taking them to school?”

Turning from the window, I explain to Jiji that we had to let our nanny go quite suddenly and the task of taking my daughters to the International School has fallen to me.

“What happened?”

It’s a good thing Jiji can’t see the color rise in my cheeks. It’s embarrassing to admit that Shanti, my nine-year-old daughter, struck her nanny on the arm, and Yasmin did what she would have done to one of her children back in Algeria: she slapped Shanti. Even as I say it, I feel pinpricks of guilt stab the tender skin just under my belly button. What kind of mother raises a child who attacks others? Have I not taught her right from wrong? Is it because I’m neglecting her, preferring the comfort of work to raising a girl who is presenting challenges I’m not sure I can handle? Isn’t that what Pierre has been insinuating? I can almost hear him say, “This is what happens when a mother puts her work before family.” I put a hand on my forehead. Oh, why did he fire Yasmin before talking to me? I didn’t even have a chance to understand what transpired, and now my husband expects me to find a replacement. Why am I the one who must find the solution to a problem I didn’t cause?

My sister asks how my work is going. This is safer ground. My discomfort gives way to excitement. “I’ve been working on a formula for Delphine that she thinks is going to be next season’s favorite fragrance. I’m on round three of the iteration. The way she just knows how to pull back on one ingredient and add barely a drop of another to make the fragrance a success is remarkable, Jiji.”

I can talk forever about fragrances. When I’m mixing a formula, hours can pass before I stop to look around, stretch my neck or step outside the lab for a glass of water and a chat with Celeste, Delphine’s secretary. It’s Celeste who often reminds me that it’s time for me to pick up the girls from school when I’m between nannies. And when I do have someone to look after the girls, Celeste casually asks what I’m serving for dinner, reminding me that I need to stop work and get home in time to feed them. On the days Pierre cooks, I’m only too happy to stay an extra hour before finishing work for the day. It’s peaceful in the lab. And quiet. And the scents—honey and clove and vetiver and jasmine and cedar and myrrh and gardenia and musk—are such comforting companions. They ask nothing of me except the freedom to envelop another world with their essence. My sister understands. She told me once that when she skated a reed dipped in henna paste across the palm, thigh or belly of a client to draw a Turkish fig or a boteh leaf or a sleeping baby, everything fell away—time, responsibilities, worries.

My daughter Asha’s birthday is coming up. She’s turning seven, but I know Jiji won’t bring it up. Today, my sister will refrain from any mention of birthdays, babies or pregnancies because she knows these subjects will inflame my bruised memories. Lakshmi knows how hard I’ve worked to block out the existence of my firstborn, the baby I had to give up for adoption. I’d barely finished grade eight when Jiji told me why my breasts were tender, why I felt vaguely nauseous. I wanted to share the good news with Ravi: we were going to have a baby! I’d been so sure he would marry me when he found out he was going to be a father. But before I could tell him, his parents whisked him away to England to finish high school. I haven’t laid eyes on him since. Did he know we’d had a son? Or that our baby’s name is Nikhil?

I wanted so much to keep my baby, but Jiji said I needed to finish school. At thirteen, I was too young to be a mother. What a relief it was when my sister’s closest friends, Kanta and Manu, agreed to raise the baby as their own and then offered to keep me as his nanny, his ayah. They had the means, the desire and an empty nursery. I could be with Niki all day, rock him, sing him to sleep, kiss his peppercorn toes, pretend he was all mine. It took me only four months to realize that I was doing more harm than good, hurting Kanta and Manu by wanting Niki to love only me.

When I was first separated from my son, I thought about him every hour of every day. The curl on one side of his head that refused to settle down. The way his belly button stuck out. How eagerly his fat fingers grasped the milk bottle I wasn’t supposed to give him. Having lost her own baby, Kanta was happy to feed Niki from her own breast. And that made me jealous—and furious. Why did she get to nurse my baby and pretend he was hers? I knew it was better for him to accept her as his new mother, but still. I hated her for it.

I knew that as long as I stayed in Kanta’s house, I would keep Niki from loving the woman who wanted to nurture him and was capable of caring for him in the long run. Lakshmi saw it, too. But she left the decision to me. So I made the only choice I could. I left him. And I tried my best to pretend he never existed. If I could convince myself that the hours Ravi Singh and I spent rehearsing Shakespeare—coiling our bodies around each other as Othello and Desdemona, devouring each other into exhaustion—had been a dream, surely I could convince myself our baby had been a dream, too.

And it worked. On every day but the second of September.

Ever since I left Jaipur, Kanta has been sending envelopes so thick I know what they contain without opening them: photos of Niki the baby, the toddler, the boy. I return each one, unopened, safe in the knowledge that the past can’t touch me, can’t splice my heart, can’t leave me bleeding.

The last time I saw Jiji in Shimla, she showed me a similar envelope addressed to her. I recognized the blue paper, Kanta’s elegant handwriting—letters like g and y looping gracefully—and shook my head. “When you’re ready, we can look at the photos together,” Jiji said.

But I knew I never would.

Today, I’ll make it through Niki’s seventeenth birthday in a haze, as I always do. I know tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow, I’ll be able to do what I couldn’t today. I’ll seal that memory of my firstborn as tightly as if I were securing the lid of a steel tiffin for my lunch, making sure that not a drop of the masala dal can escape.

Excerpt from The Perfumist of Paris by Alka Joshi.
Copyright © 2023 by Alka Joshi.
Published with permission from HarperCollins/MIRA Books.
All rights reserved.

Meet the Author

Alka Joshi author photograph: headshot of a smiling East Asian Indian women with short hair gray, wearing a black top and a multicolored neck scarf
Alka Joshi – credit Garry Bailey 2022

 

Born in India and raised in the U.S. since she was nine, Alka Joshi has a BA from Stanford University and an MFA from California College of Arts. Joshi’s debut novel, The Henna Artist, immediately became a NYT bestseller, a Reese Witherspoon Bookclub pick, was Longlisted for the Center for Fiction First Novel Prize, & is in development as a TV series. Her second novel, The Secret Keeper of Jaipur (2021), is followed by The Perfumist of Paris (2023). Find her online at https://alkajoshi.com/.

Connect with the author: Facebook | Goodreads | Instagram | LinkedIn | Twitter | Website | YouTube

This book showcase and excerpt brought to you by MIRA Books

 

Book Showcase: OUT OF THE DARKNESS by Debra Holz

Out of the Darkness

Aligning Science and Spirit to Overcome Depression

by Debra Holz

March 27 – April 21, 2023 Virtual Book Tour

Synopsis:

Out of the Darkness by Debra Holz

One woman’s courageous journey from the darkness of depression to the light of awakening, healing, joy, and peace.

For 50 years, depression was an insidious tormentor that dictated what Debra Holz believed not only about herself but also the meaning and purpose of life, faith, love and death. Raised by a troubled mother and abusive father, she endured crippling emotional trauma that led her down a dark path of addiction and self-loathing. Decades of talk therapy and psychotropic drugs did little to abate her symptoms.

Determined to end her life, everything changed in 2013 when an internal voice whispered: What if there’s another way to heal depression beyond traditional medical and psychiatric treatments? What unfolded was a way forward that revolutionized her thoughts, reframed her childhood events, and transformed her life. Holz candidly shares the step-by-step approach that she discovered and developed to rewire her brain and, thereby, her neurochemistry-ultimately leading to a deep joy and peace she had never known.

Out of the Darkness is for anyone who suffers with debilitating depression and is open to exploring the cutting-edge science of neuroplasticity. With an estimated 10 percent of Americans struggling with this condition, her book sheds valuable light on why the merging of science and spirit is critically important in overcoming depression. Holz is living proof that it’s possible to triumph over it and emerge out of the darkness.

Praise for Out of the Darkness:

“Debra, you tell the truth and hold the darkness of shame up to the light, and that darkness just disappears. You are brave and courageous—not only for capturing your story but also for persevering and striving to be and do better and maybe to love and be loved. I am honored to know you and see a miracle right before my very eyes.”
~ Carolyn L, Licensed Therapist

 

“Debra has a gift for knowing what readers want to read with her compelling writing style.”
~ Roger Stuart, Editor

 

“While Debra’s book did tell a very sad story, in the end, there was healing and recovery. I enjoyed reading that it is possible to overcome trauma.”
~ C. Losey

 

“I thoroughly enjoyed reading Debra’s book on overcoming obstacles. She is a warrior! Debra mentions many resources she used to overcome her depression, and her autobiography is compelling.”
~ Tammy A.

 

“Debra Holz takes us through the often horrifying journey of depression. She lays out the challenges she faced over a 50-year window. This book is a must-read for everyone and their loved ones struggling with depression. Debra gives us all hope.”
~ Davis

Listen in as Debra shares some of her story:

Book Details:

Genre: Mental Health, Transformation, Neurolinguistics, Depression
Published by: Indie
Publication Date: December 2022
Number of Pages: 193
ISBN: 979-8351544625
Book Links: Amazon | Goodreads

Read an excerpt:

INTRODUCTION

As my eyes slowly flutter open, the blinding glare from the light on the sterile white ceiling causes me to wince. An I.V. bag dangles at the end of a silver pole, its line connected to a needle in my arm. I feel numb yet overwhelmed with despair. My mind is too groggy to comprehend what’s going on.

“Debra, do you know where you are?” a woman asks authoritatively.

I don’t. Wherever I am, the last thing I want is to be there, or anywhere.

“You’re in the emergency room at Western Psychiatric Hospital,” she explains, a bit more gently. I can see through dim eyesight that she appears to be a nurse. “Do you know why you’re here?”

I’m too sleepy to be concerned with her question. She pinches my arm hard to awaken me. I can see through the window that it’s dark, so it must be nighttime. Gradually, the fog clears as the nurse waits for me to respond. Obviously, my plan to kill myself had failed.

The impulse to end my life had consumed me since age 17, and it nearly did win the night before. My plan was firm: Drink enough wine to douse my fear, grab one of the loaded guns that my criminal defense attorney husband, Harrison, kept in our house, and shoot a bullet through my temple. For a decade leading up to this evening, I was too afraid to directly commit suicide, not knowing the possible spiritual consequences (if there is such a thing) in the afterlife. So, I routinely played an alcohol-and-sleeping-pill bedtime roulette, hoping that with the right spin of the sedative wheel, I wouldn’t wake up in the morning.

That fateful night, my drinking binge led to a blackout, which preempted my attempt to finish what I’d started. After I came to in the early morning hours, I told Harrison about my death intention. With a shrug of disgust, he walked into the other room, turned on the television, and proceeded to watch some sporting event. About six hours later, he drove me to Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic.

The nurse pinches my arm once more, and that’s when I come to my senses and realize that, somehow, I’m still alive. I am deeply and acutely disappointed by this awareness.

What preceded this incident was fifty years of depression, an illness that told me what to think not only about myself but also the meaning of life, death, and the elusive truth about personal value and purpose. It dictated who I was, what to believe and how to feel. A faithful tormentor, depression refused to leave me alone no matter how much I pleaded and sometimes prayed to a deity whose existence I doubted. A merciless opponent, this illness was determined to enslave me with its chronic emotional and mental floggings. All those years, it never ceased and had no regard for how weary I had become.

My brain began wiring itself for depression from the early years of my childhood. Being in its clutches dominated my life by regulating how my brain functioned and allowed despair to overtake my other emotions. Through my teen years and well into adulthood, depression didn’t care about my positive experiences, accomplishments, and other things that should have made me happy. It marred and even ruined what should have been joyous occurrences and events such as my advanced education, career success, dream house with my new husband, and my children’s births.

If you suffer from depression, which I assume you might since you’re reading this book, you may feel as I did that there’s no escape from the misery. But there is. In fact, healing is possible. After a lifetime of suffering, I finally healed my depression outside of traditional medical methods. I reveal on these pages how I step-by-step revolutionized my beliefs, rewired my brain—thereby changing my neurochemistry—and created methods and habits to secure the longevity of my newfound joy and peace. Since 2014, I haven’t had an episode of depression! Hard to believe, isn’t it? I no longer doubt that it’s true and doable.

Healing through depression was, for sure, a spiritual awakening. As I grew through my healing process, my perception of the God I was introduced to as a child changed and expanded my consciousness. For clarification, when I use the word “God” within these chapters, it isn’t quite an accurate noun for what I consider “source, divine awareness, the creator.” So, for the sake of simplicity and since for many it’s common usage, I will say “God” interchangeably with these other terms.

My healing journey was a deep dive into the realms of science, as well. I share how quantum physics is relevant to healing depression, as well as how the brain works and how to rewire it away from depression. I also share emotional, spiritual, and behavioral exercises that, little by little, you’ll be able to integrate into your own life. As you take tiny then small steps at first, you’ll discover an increase in your life force energy. Eventually, you will be able to work on bigger and bigger tasks towards full healing.

First, let’s review a definition of depression and its ramifications. The Mayo Clinic describes depression as “a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness … [that] affects how you feel, think, and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems.” According to the World Health Organization, depression is a leading cause of disability; worldwide, it’s estimated that 264 million people suffer from it. Interestingly, more women experience depression and suicidal ideations than men, but men have higher rates of successful suicides. And the United States ranks as one of five countries with the highest numbers of depression sufferers. Though there may be other causes of depression, it is typically attributed to factors such as the brain’s faulty neurological mood regulation, genetics, emotional and physical trauma, childhood neglect and abuse, and major life stressors, including serious medical issues. What’s more, the National Institutes of Health reports that depression is associated with a higher risk of early mortality, and approximately 7.9 fewer years of life expectancy.

Unfortunately, those who haven’t suffered from depression sometimes expect a depressed person to just “snap out of it . . . stop the self-pity . . . think positive.” But when a person is clinically depressed, it’s typically impossible to “snap out of it” or simply solve the issue by thinking positively. While it may appear that a depressed person is self-pitying, they are usually filled with self-contempt and shame about their condition, as I was. And “recovering” without guidance and other forms of help is unlikely.

When I attempted to feel better, a haunting sadness assured me that I couldn’t escape the darkness and pain. As the years passed with no relief, the belief that something was intrinsically wrong with me and that I would never get better gained momentum. At the same time, I couldn’t shake the sensation that disaster was right around the corner. I harbored the continuous terrorizing sense that I was in ocean-deep water with my chin just above the surface, dogpaddling like crazy so I wouldn’t go under. I knew that if I did, it would be the end of me.

I got plenty of traditional counseling over the decades, starting with my first therapist at age 17. I accepted what she and all my subsequent mental health professionals told me about my biologically based, supposedly incurable illness. For over three decades, the psychiatrists and therapists who considered me their patient insisted that only therapy and psychiatric drugs would help me gain power over my depression. Looking back, I believe that they truly wanted to help me. Yet, despite their efforts and my earnest attempts to feel better, I remained powerless. Though I functioned—at times scarcely or not at all—I passed through the decades barely engaged in life. For those who didn’t know me well, most of the time, I appeared to be functional and, well, “normal.” I completed my bachelor’s degree by age 21 and began my professional life, at which I succeeded, eventually owning my own company at age 29. At times, I appeared happy, I even had a sense of humor, and was talkative and outgoing; this was all a façade. From my outward appearance, I may have seemed fine; but inside, I was tormented. Only those closest to me knew.

By my late forties, the pain of depression and all the meds I was taking were not only emotionally but also physically debilitating. It occupied my mind and body. I could focus on nothing else. I dreaded the future and saw no possibility of relief ahead. It all culminated in 2007, when I intentionally drank too much wine and located Harrison’s gun. If he hadn’t taken me to Western Psych, I most probably wouldn’t have made it—which wouldn’t have been the worst-case scenario. In fact, despite my desire to be free from pain, I felt paralyzed and suffered terribly from my inability to follow through with suicide. Besides dooming my children, I envisioned that the horror of a failed attempt might render me conscious yet stuck in a useless, wordless body—and more disconsolate than ever. Being trapped with emotional and mental torment forever, unable to communicate or move—still not knowing what will happen when I die—would be, I imagined, the most inescapable torture of all.

This is what struck me as I slowly awakened in the emergency room at Western Psych and what eventually gave me the courage to find a better way, beyond traditional therapy and pharmaceuticals, to finally take control of my health, my mind, my life. It was, essentially, a turning point from dark to light.

That is why I’ve titled this book Out of the Darkness: Aligning Science and Spirit to Overcome Depression. Not only have I healed my depression through means outside of traditional mental health treatment, I’ve also been lovingly led into the light—a persistent, impenetrable condition of joy, contentment, and peace. For that, I am abundantly and endlessly thankful. It is nothing short of a transformation into a way of being that I had never dreamed was possible. Every morning, I awake joyful and grateful to have been gifted another depression-free day. As of this writing, I am eight years without depression’s malevolence. I still can hardly believe it. I marvel when life continues to throw difficult challenges my way, but I remain mostly unfazed.

I fear not because I know that I am beyond the risk of descending back into the darkness. Finally living fully and embracing life consciously, I now feel a sense of responsibility and purpose to share my experience with those who suffer with this dreadful/deplorable condition. My mission is to shed light on effective alternative ways to heal, so that others may emerge out of the darkness and enjoy lives of joy, health, and peace.

***

Excerpt from Out of the Darkness: Aligning Science and Spirit to Overcome Depression by Debra Holz. Copyright 2022 by Debra Holz. Reproduced with permission from Debra Holz. All rights reserved.

Author Bio:

Debra Holz

Debra Holz is the author of Out of the Darkness: Aligning Science and Spirit to Overcome Depression, which won The Authors’ Zone (TAZ) national award in the non-fiction category and achieved bestseller status on Amazon.

A natural storyteller, her book chronicles her 50-year struggle with major clinical depression and ultimately, how she healed her brain and balanced her neurochemistry beyond traditional psychiatric treatment. Using neuroplasticity techniques she developed and a major change in her underlying beliefs, she rewired and healed her brain and has been depression free since 2014.

It is her passionate mission to share her story with as many depression sufferers as possible so they too may heal themselves.

Debra has been a successful freelance writer and journalist since 1985. Besides her talent for direct response creativity, she is known for her expertise in legal content for major law firms as well as the technology and computer industry, banks, and investment corporations. She also has written for many major city newspapers.

Catch Up With Debra Holz:
DebraHolz.life
Facebook Group: OUT OF THE DARKNESS WITH DEBRA HOLZ

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Book Showcase: HOW I’LL KILL YOU by Ren DeStefano

How I’ll Kill You by Ren DeStefano
ISBN: 9780593438305 (Hardcover)
ISBN: 9780593438329 (eBook)
ISBN: 9780593675236 (Digital audiobook)
ASIN: B0B622M43T (Audible audiobook)
ASIN: B0B4R71G46 (Kindle edition)
Page Count: 352
Release Date: March 21, 2023
Publisher: Berkley Books
Genre: Fiction | Mystery | Thriller

Your next stay-up-all-night thriller, about identical triplets who have a nasty habit of killing their boyfriends, and what happens when the youngest commits their worst crime yet: falling in love with her mark.

Make him want you.
Make him love you.
Make him dead.

Sissy has an…interesting family. Always the careful one, always the cautious one, she has handled the cleanup while her serial killer sisters have carved a path of carnage across the U.S. Now, as they arrive in the Arizona heat, Sissy must step up and embrace the family pastime of making a man fall in love and then murdering him. Her first target? A young widower named Edison–and their mutual attraction is instant. While their relationship progresses, and most couples would be thinking about picking out china patterns and moving in together, Sissy’s family is reminding her to think about picking out burial sites and moving on.

But then something happens that Sissy never anticipated: She begins to feel protective of Edison, and then, before she can help it, she’s fallen in love. But the clock is ticking, and her sisters are growing restless. It becomes clear that the gravesite she chooses will hide a body no matter what happens; but if she betrays her family, will it be hers?

Purchase Links #CommissionEarned: Bookshop.org | Amazon | Amazon Kindle | Audible Audiobook | Audiobooks.com | Barnes and Noble | B&N eBook | B&N Audiobook | BookDepository.com | Downpour Audiobook | Kobo Audiobook | Kobo eBook

Book Excerpt:

If not for my sisters and the tragic circumstances of our upbringing, I would be living an empty life and bound for heartbreak.

It started when we were nineteen.

Iris called me, frantic, in the middle of the night. She had her own apartment above a laundromat in downtown Clovis. She was so proud of that place—all five hundred square feet of it. She kept it tidy and burned incense at all hours to hide the smell from the dumpster in the alley outside her bedroom window. At night, there was the persistent throb of the bar across the street, the music loud enough to rattle the porcelain angel figurines on the shelves. They’d come with the place, and Iris had decided they made her living room look homey—a word she’d never used before, because we’d never had a home.

“Just come,” she’d sobbed and then hung up. All of my calls went straight to voicemail. I sped the whole way over there, sure that someone had just climbed up the fire escape to murder her. But what I found was a different sort of violence.

Blood, deep and dark, pooled on her oriental rug, and splattered across the angel figurines.

She’d been sleeping with her old high school guidance counselor—a fifty-one-year-old married father of two. He strung her along for months, promising to leave his wife. He broke her heart a hundred times, and then Iris plunged a kebab skewer through his.

“You watch all of those crime shows,” Moody said, emerging from the kitchen with a bottle of bleach she’d found under the sink. “Help us make this go away.”

We moved with a practical calm, the three of us, and when it was through, Iris’s ill-fated lover was resting in six garbage bags, wound tightly with duct tape. If it were only one of us, or even two, I’m sure we would have been caught. We would have missed a detail. But we were a perfect team, the three of us.

After a lifetime of being torn apart, we were finally together, finally able to help one another in all the ways we never could when we were being jostled helplessly by the foster system. All those years of loneliness, of wanting, of being kept apart, had brought us to this desperate moment. Knee-deep in the water of the San Joaquin river in the velvet black night, we weighed the pieces of the man with rocks, and a promise started to form. In the coming days, it slowly became obvious what we needed to do.

We wouldn’t deprive ourselves of love, but our hearts would be weapons. We would love the men we found completely and without inhibition, put a lifetime into our brief time together. Live out every fantasy we desired. And then we would kill them.

There would never be another lover to break one of us. We would break all of them first.

Excerpt from How I’ll Kill You by Ren DeStefano.
Copyright © 2023 by Ren DeStefano.
Published with permission from Berkley Berkley, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC.
All rights reserved.

Meet the Author

Ren DeStefano author photo: headshot photo of young white female with long brown hair, swept over one shoulder, wearing cat-eye glasses in front of a wooded background

 

Ren DeStefano lives in Connecticut, where she was born and raised. When she’s not writing thrillers, she’s listening to true crime podcasts and crocheting way too many blankets.

Connect with the author: Instagram | Website

 

This book excerpt brought to you by Berkley Books